Reply to I cannot believe there are still people out there spanking their children...

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "I cannot believe there are still people out there spanking their children..."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Continuing my point, and in response to the spousal comparison, spouses do not hold legitimate authority over one another. You could not spank your spouse against his or her will anymore than you could seize their iPhone, or confine them to their room, or the time out chair. If you put your spouse in time out against her will, that would likewise be considered domestic violence.[/quote]
If you wouldn't treat an adult that way, why on earth would you subject a child to that? Is it, perhaps, because the child has no power and no means of defense or retaliation? If your child is so out of hand that hitting them seems like your best option, then you suck as a parent and as a human.[/quote]

What do you mean if I wouldn’t treat an adult that way? Do you put an adult in time out when they are crying and don’t want to sit there? Do you force an adult physically into their seatbelt if they are refusing to do so? If an adult is dirty, do you pull their clothes off and set them in the bathtub even if they are resisting?[/quote]
I never did those things with my children. Having been abused as a child, I am very sensitive of my children's needs. When they were little and acting out, it was usually because they were tired, hungry or in some challenging developmental phase. I never forced my child into any seat, tub or situation by force or threat of force. When logic and bribery failed, natural consequences ensued. You don't get in your seat, we don't drive anywhere, etc. I am by no means a perfect parent, I am definitely good enough and I have never abused my kids. [b]To be clear: I consider your examples to be abusive[/b].

[/quote]

OK. Got it.[/quote]
Maybe abusive is too strong a word. Dysfunctional is apt. Using physical force on a child violates so many boundaries and erodes trust. [/quote]

So when I held my child down to change his dirty diaper, that exemplified a dysfunctional (if not abusive) relationship?[/quote]

It's crazy to me how often this comparison has been made on this thread.

Restraining a child (or an adult) in order to do a necessary form of care, like changing a diaper, cleaning their body, putting on a seat belt, etc., is not the same as spanking a child for punishment.

When you restrain a baby to change their diaper, you aren't restraining them as a punishment for bad behavior. They can't sit around in their own feces, it is your job to prevent them from doing that, so if you have to hold the child down to do it, that's what you do.

As a nurse upthread pointed out, this is also the sort of thing she sometimes has to do with adult patients who are incapacitated in some way. It's obviously not ideal, but sometimes adults are determined to be unable to make choices about their own medical care, and in those limited situations, they are restrained in order to perform basic medical care, like washing a wound or changing a bed pan. The restraints are not a punishment, they are deemed necessary to help the patient while also protecting the nurse from injury.

Spanking is punishment. It is never necessary in order to care for a child. It is done purely as a consequence for what the parent has deemed bad behavior. Studies show that it is a very ineffective form of discipline. So even if you don't think it's cruel, there is no reason to do it. Whereas there IS a reason to restrain a child in order to change a dirty diaper, and almost no one would tell you that the solution in that situation is to just let your kid sit in the dirty diaper.

These are very different situations.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics