Reply to If you had an affair with a married person

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m the above poster. This affair has gone on for 5 years. [/quote]

He's not leaving his wife.  He's keeping you on the line to fill his narcissistic needs.  You aren't even having sex and your life is on hold.  It's a complete waste of time.

What are you going to do--go into fully bunny burner mode and out him to his wife, force his hand?

[/quote]

Interesting you use the word narcissist. I have wondered if that’s what he is. The way the sex ended but the emotions stayed was strange[/quote]

It’s not strange. He wants to know he either has you as an option or that no one else does even if he isn’t making himself available sexually.[/quote]

And not strange because the emotions aren’t really there. It’s just an ego stroke. [/quote]

+1. You are blowing smoke in his @ss and he is eating it up.  I’ve seen men like this that always need a group of platonic women to tell them they are wonderful—no matter how much they are getting it at home.  It’s an attachment issue/unmet need from childhood.  Mine definitely had issues with his mom.  Felt neglected and abandoned after his parents divorced.  His mom wasn’t there emotionally and didn’t come to his events, etc. It was a deep buried wound- and when life gets busy with kids and work and their wives are taxed, they feel that same wound flare-up and neglect but can’t communicate or address it in a healthy to their spouse…cue the OW whose job and time is 100% for him and will drop anything the moment he beckons. So many will say they would wish it were the wife that was the one giving them this attention (unrealistic and one-sided with kids to take care of, a job and basically the default parent). [/quote]

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