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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "If you had an affair with a married person "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t feel bad for the spouse or the children who are teen and college aged. What I can’t figure out is, he says he loves his wife and doesn’t want to cheat, ended our sexual relationship but continues to contact me about his daily life, work, hobbies all the time. Multiple times a day. First thing in the morning. Last thing in the evening. I wish he’d just leave his wife. We have remained extremely emotionally close, despite the no romance or sex boundary. Which guts me. But I love him and would rather keep him in life as a friend than not have him at all. [/quote] I am not judging you because I have been in your shoes but it is time to cut this guy off. Yes, he’ll keep you around forever for the validation and ego boost that you give him. He knows that you are sitting there pining away for him and that feels good. I know you love him, I loved mine too. But what you are doing is wrong, for you, for him, and for his real family that doesn’t include you. You can never be a legitimate part of his life and that hurts but it’s time to move on. You’re also complicit in harming his wife and family. He’s made it clear- he chooses his wife. Move on.[/quote] Thank you for a kind response. We have been in each others lives for a very long time. There was friendship well before the affair. It’s hard to walk away but knowing that it won’t ever be what I want it to be, is devastating. Why doesn’t he spend his time talking to his wife? Why does he spend hours and hours every day looking for my advice? Sharing with me?[/quote]
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