Reply to SAHMs and marriage dynamics?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does division of labor in a two adult partnership have to be SO gender-based?

Women do the non-paid labor, men made the decisions that impact lots of people or make lots of money. Men have offices and staff, women wash dishes, vacuum and dress drooling toddlers.

If we are actually intellectual equals, why is this not offensive? (And who thinks it is not sending negative messages, to the children growing up in such environments?)[/quote]

What’s offensive is YOUR thinking the domestic work is somehow beneath you. You’d be ok outsourcing it to your Hispanic housekeeper or nanny but won’t do it yourself? What message does THAT send your children? “Taking care of you and our home is beneath me because I’m SUCH an [i]intellectual[/i]“. I happen to love dressing my “drooling” toddler. My teens love having long discussions with their educated mother who actually has time for those conversations because I am not rushing off to work or distracted. There is no better way for me to use my intellect and talent than in service to my family. [/quote]

It's beneath your husband, though. [/quote]

You know nothing about my DH. He is VERY involved. And no, he doesn’t think wiping his preschool son’s arse is beneath him at all. [/quote]

Women with full-time jobs, guess what, are also VERY involved. But they're not making domestic work the focus of their lives. Much like your husband. [/quote]

And? So what? You can make that choice. And I can make another. And guess what? One does not affect the other. Plus, you THINK you are highly involved, but you just aren’t able to be as engaged as a SAH. Sorry that’s the cold facts. [/quote]

I’ve been both SAH and WOH (and actually at one time a full-time student mom) and your facts aren’t the cold hard facts you think they are. [/quote]

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