Reply to SAHMs and marriage dynamics?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does division of labor in a two adult partnership have to be SO gender-based?

Women do the non-paid labor, men made the decisions that impact lots of people or make lots of money. Men have offices and staff, women wash dishes, vacuum and dress drooling toddlers.

If we are actually intellectual equals, why is this not offensive? (And who thinks it is not sending negative messages, to the children growing up in such environments?)[/quote]

What’s offensive is YOUR thinking the domestic work is somehow beneath you. You’d be ok outsourcing it to your Hispanic housekeeper or nanny but won’t do it yourself? What message does THAT send your children? “Taking care of you and our home is beneath me because I’m SUCH an [i]intellectual[/i]“. I happen to love dressing my “drooling” toddler. My teens love having long discussions with their educated mother who actually has time for those conversations because I am not rushing off to work or distracted. There is no better way for me to use my intellect and talent than in service to my family. [/quote]

And your post about Hispanics is offensive. [/quote]

+1 Ouch, that’s racist

I think it’s great that your teens love having long discussions with you but aren’t you also showing them that it’s normal for women to not work? Like dad makes all the money, mom takes care of us. So what is the point of them trying hard in school and having good careers if that’s their destiny too? [/quote]

I’m an attorney (my mom was a SAHM). By modeling being an attorney, I’m not showing my kids this is the only way, just that this is my way. My mom was a great SAHM -she approached it with energy, enthusiasm, joy, and a great work ethic. All those personality traits she modeled for me helped shape me to aim for my own particular goals. [b]I do not understand this unimaginative, siloed thinking that we are such a brain dead people that we can only mimic what is right before our eyes[/b].[/quote]

Parental anxiety--every single moment and aspect of our lives has to be "optimized" for the perceived benefit of our offspring.  It also makes us think we have a lot more control over the trajectory of their lives than we actually do.[/quote]

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