Reply to 6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for the advice and BTDT on this thread.  I really appreciate people taking a few minutes to share their kids' experiences.

To be clear, my priority is no way my friendships with these girls' parents.  I have plenty of friends from other areas of life (work, grad school, neighbors).  But is it really that unusual to become friends with some of the parents of your kids' friends?  Our kids chose to be friends on their own (in no way social engineered) and I have spent hours upon hours with these people on the sidelines of games, at BBQs, school events.  That evolved into adult dinners, parties, even travel.  My questions was whether I should reach out to find out more about what is going on, again not applying pressure to include DD, just to better understand the source of the problem.  Most of the responses have been a resounding no to this.

DD is not at a super small private, and it expands this year and in 7th, so seeking out friendships with some new kids is a really good idea.   She does tend to be dramatic, and maybe that is a turn off to some of these friends.  But the hurt she is feeling is real, and I've see with my own eyes the overt meanness on multiple occasions, so she is no way making this up in her head.

Thanks again for some of the tangible advice provided about how to help DD develop a thicker skin and become more resilient.  [/quote]

OP, my DD is also at a private that is not small.   Between 6th and 8th grade pretty much her entire social circle changed. This did not just happen to her, but two about 2/3 of the girls in the grade.  Then I’m 9th, there was a huge influx of students and the social circles changed again. Now in 10th the social circles have shifted a little bit but not as much as in previous grades.  Throughout all of this, my DD has maintained a friendship with one girl and even that does not look the same as in years past.

The only thing that I did was to validate her emotions and tell her that this is completely normal, and that she would make new friends.  I never spoke to the parents because I’m not the type of person that would do that and I wasn’t very friendly with them anyways. A couple of us that are friends because of our own interest and not because of our children past friendships decided together to sit back and let this happen, and not to involve ourselves in any kind of social engineering. I also reminded her that it happened to me in public school and that unfortunately, it’s just a part of the tween life.  I became  friends with some great people who I am still friends with to this day. DD now has a diverse group of friends and helps some of the younger girls who are going through this.

All this to say that it is a normal part of growing up.  Just let her know is that you are there for her. That means more than anything in my opinion.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics