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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is always the parents fault and I am not being sarcastic.[/quote]

Op here, I will say that DH was my most challenging kid. [b]He was headstrong and demanding from the time he was a baby. He was rarely content and cried a lot as a baby. He fought potty training and putting on clothes. I would dress him, he would take it off.[/b]  If we wanted him do his chores, he would argue about why it was unfair or he shouldn't have to do it - for a much longer time than the chore would take. He dropped out of college and blamed us because shouldn't have made him go in the first place. This is his personality.[/quote]

Right up until my mother died she would throw in my face how I cried a lot as a baby and never wanted her to rock me. As if I was being mean to her, as if I should apologize for how I was as a BABY and TODDLER. Please do not do this to your son.[/quote]

This is all I needed to read to know that OP was the problem. My mother does the same thing to me. I was colicky. She brings it up 40 years later. Like I owe her an apology for my inability to control my crying and be content with her as a baby.

So, a homeschooling, religious fundie who was annoyed that her baby cried is now not pleased that the baby grew up and told her she sucked as a mom. Poor guy. I hope he marries someone who is a better wife/mother than OP. [/quote]

DP. Where did you get all this cr@p? Your fevered imagination? OP never said she threw her DS’ stubbornness his face—that was a completely different poster who was talking about her own mother. OP hasn’t told us how she dealt with her stubborn DC. OP also never indicated that she’s a fundie—you made that up. People homeschool for many reasons—ask our our atheist homeschooling neighbors—and you have no clue how much religion played a part because OP hasn’t told us all her reasons. Maybe she lived in a bad school district.

Geez, get a grip. We get it, you’re an anti-religion bigot. Can you stop posting this now?

OP did say, right above, that she wanted DC to go to college and now he’s mad about that. You didn’t address that in your rant. So tell us, is wanting college for your kids really so bad? [/quote]

Wanting college isn't so bad, but altogether the picture painted for me is that: This mother never considered any input from her son about his life. She prescribed homeschooling, religion and college and didn't budge when he didn't respond well to those. It paints a picture of a mother who didn't know or care to know who her child was, did not value his individuality, and instead just marched him on to meet her own goals, as if he were a product and not a person. This would be traumatizing.

[/quote]

How do you know her son made his schooling and religion wishes known when he was still young but she just steam-rolled over them? OP never said that. It sounds very much like his claims about schooling and religion are new to her. What OP actually said was that they argued about him wearing clothes and doing chores—are you claiming she should have backed down on either of these to respect his “individuality”? Again, you’re fantasizing to fit some bizarre personal narrative of your own.[/quote]

It's not a bizarre personal narrative. It is a pattern that many of us here recognize from our own experiences. Do I know OP? No. Do I know that what she shared is the whole story or accurate? Of course not. But many, many of the details are consistent with the idea that she's got some kind of personality disorder and that she mistreated or abused her son.

I share my take on the story because I have relevant experience, and even if my experience isn't close to what happened in OP's house, it's definitely going to be close to what happened in another poster's house. Therefore, it's relevant and will possibly resonate and help someone else.

Not just me but others picked up on:
The mother's inability to apologize unequivocally
The mother's criticism of the boy for having been a difficult baby/child
The mother's greater concern for her own discomfort, at having been confronted, than with the well being of her son

These are HALLMARKS of an abusive borderline or narcissistic parent.

I wonder why you're so invested in defending the mother. She's merely suffering some discomfort from being confronted. The son's problems, if I am right, are much worse.

[/quote]

Since you’re using caps: OP NEVER said she criticized her son for being difficult. That was ANOTHER POSTER who was talking about her own mom criticizing her. This was already pointed out to you. Go back and read the thread. Or are you just trolling? Geez.

I had a sometimes abusive mom. And yet I can stand back and not try to shoehorn this thread into my own experiences and prejudices, especially when OP’s given us nothing to justify that. You’re the narcissist, making armchair diagnoses based on nothing else but, apparently, your own strong dislike of religion, homeschooling, and kids wearing clothes and doing chores. Sit down. [/quote]

No one has to “sit down” because you tell them to. Who the hell do you think you are?[/quote]

A poster who reads and understands other posts, and who doesn’t try to slap her own mommy issues on to them, obviously. [/quote]

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