Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Two parents working a combined 100 plus hours per week need to outsource household tasks and childcare, or it won’t work. You either outsource or reduce hours (one or both of you). The current expectations are not reasonable.

-doctors wife who also works [/quote]

Why are you combining hours like that/ is there actually zero overlap in your working schedules? made up marketing stats aren’t going to help anyone. [/quote]

DP.  After years of being told that dual working parents make things work all of the time, I started to think of it this way too.  Anything over 80 hours/wk + parenthood starts to put a strain on the household.  
It doesn’t really matter if the hours overlap or not.  It doesn’t matter if one person is working 100 hours and one person is a SAHP.  It doesn’t matter if both parents are working 50 hours each.  It doesn’t matter if it’s OP’s situation, and one parent is working 60 hours/wk and the other is working 40 hours/wk.  For whatever reason, the combined hours matter.

In my personal experience, the only exception to this is when one partner is just gone.  (They are deployed or out of town for an extended period of time for whatever reason).  The solo parent can get things functioning pretty normally, even when working full time.  A spouse who is gone is no help, but they don’t put the kind of strain on the family that a spouse working longer hours does.  (I don’t think OP’s expectations of her spouse are atypical, but they probably aren’t anything that her husband would do if he were parenting solo).

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