Reply to Wife takes care of the 'other woman', ends her DH's affair and his marriage in one evening

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^wtf are you talking about? I’m 52 and have a career in STEM and all my female friends are lawyers, doctors, IT consultants, etc.

My mother worked too and told us to always have our own income.

There was no need to work given what the men make, but we all kept it because we liked what we did and wanted our own $/retirement and identity.[/quote]

I have no idea what that pp is talking about.

Even my 85 year old illiterate grandmother, who married at 18 and went on to have 12 children, had a lot going for her besides her marriage. She bought and sold anything she could get her hands on. She had church, choir, and several meeting groups that she was comitted to. She had an extended family that she loved and cared for and vice versa.

My grandfather was a successful man and a very present father,  but my grandmother's identity was obviously separate from his. These women with identities that are primarily dependent on their marriages must be very rare because I don't know any of them.

[/quote]

Codependent. Dime a dozen.[/quote]

Okay,  let’s see how independent and unfazed you feel when you husband cheats on you with a woman ten years younger after 20 years together. I’ll wait.[/quote]

No matter how strong our marriage I do not depend on a man to get me through life. I have my career, my friends, my kids. I would hate to go through divorce or widowhood, but those things happen and you have to have your ducks in a row. Another person cannot be your anchor in this world. If you do that I guarantee the other person will feel stifled and you resentful. It is just not realistic. [/quote]

In fairness, I've had friends that had great careers yet stayed with horrible men because they were dependent emotionally. I divorced at a young age with a child with no job, and I was just fine. At almost 50 with no income, and no money might be a different story. Jennair worked her entire life, she should have been able to depend on Mark for a year after staying behind to rent the home and move them. He was never a responsible guy, and the little bit he was on his own proved it. Total F up that messed up their life. On the tapes she admitted she never should have married him. You forget she was his anchor as well, but she lost her identity which never should happen. Yes that's what no one should ever do. [/quote]

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