Reply to MIL getting up when baby cried: what would you do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, life is full of ups and downs.  You had a bad visit.  Get over it and move on.  Your MIL was just trying to be helpful.  Also, don’t tell people how to keep their doors at night or offer white noise machines.  That’s rude.  Your MIL probably was hoping you would ask her to change the baby and comfort her until you and DH had used the bathroom, but was unsure of how to ask.  It wouldn’t have killed you to let her change the baby or soothe her back to sleep.  I’m sure she was so excited to have the baby there.  [b]You are way too rigid[/b]. Stop making it a her vs you situation.  [/quote]

This isn’t the grave insult you guys think it is. There is nowhere in the universe a gracious hostess stands outside her guests bedroom door talking loudly in the middle of the night, night after night, after being asked not to.  Asking for peace and quiet at night is not “rigid” whether you have a baby or not![/quote]

It sounds like the MIL asked questions in a normal tone of voice at a time when every person in the house was awake. [/quote]
The parents of the baby were capable of handling the situation. What was the need for MIL to insert herself repeatedly?[/quote]

Maybe the MIL was concerned something wrong because it doesn’t take two adults to change a diaper and feed a baby.[/quote]
+1
The whole set in stone routine of who does why, when each adult goes to the bathroom, etc is weird. Part of having kids is to go with the flow and teach the kids flexibility, too. It shouldn’t take 2 adults to do a quick middle of the night change/feed[/quote]

Yeah, that’s how husbands wind up doing nothing. My first kid was wide awake after night feeds and it would take an hour to get him back to sleep. You’d better believe we had a routine like OP describes for the first few months. No way was I going to do all the feedings and then also stay up an extra hour each time to get him back to sleep. Especially because I also snap awake and have trouble going back to sleep, and DH doesn’t.

Second kid was more chill (or maybe I was more chill) and I did them myself, but I don’t judge or blame new parents for doing what works for them. [/quote]

Agree! People nitpicking OP's nighttime routine are so ridiculous. [b] I had something similar for the early days with both my kids - I would get baby up and feed on one side, then pass baby off to DH for diaper change.[/b] Then I fed on the other side so baby could nurse back to sleep.

If you wanted to do it all yourself, great, but some people want their DHs to take part of the nighttime work (and some DHs actually want to help!). [/quote]

This is not the "early days." This baby is FOUR MONTHS old. The fact that OP demands her husband's participation in this tells me everything I need to know. And this is not "how husbands wind up doing nothing." My husband did plenty. But if I'm nursing and have to be awake anyway, there is no reason BOTH parents have to have their sleep disturbed for something easilly done by one person. Maybe the first week or two with the first kid, but after that its just a terribly inefficient use of parental resources. But OP totally seems like the type to demand her husband gets up out of "fairness" aka spite.

[/quote]

You’re really reaching. My husband woke up with the baby whenever I did for the time we had her in our room, because babies are loud. Then yes we took turns using the bathroom and sometimes he would even (gasp!) get me a glass of water. Or even a snack. It’s Ok for husbands to care for their wives and be part of a team. OPs husband seems to be the kind that cares about the comfort of his wife and child, as suggested by his unwillingness to repeat this experience with his mother.[/quote]

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