Reply to Can we have an honest, good faith conversation about fat acceptance and body positivity?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I’m obese.  I hate it.  I was the gorgeous, healthy, skinny woman everyone envied before I was long-term sexually harassed at work and went on medication for depression and anxiety.  I was milested by my father repeatedly in ES so that I may be a bit sensitive to the workplace issue.

Now, I’m afraid to leave the house I don’t want anyone to see how fat I am.  I take lithium and abilify, which cause weight gain.

I’m fine to pay extra for a seat on an airplane, but I’m also a millionaire.

I’d give anything to have a friend to walk with, but obesity is a lonely thing.  My doctor has no advice for me.  Last appointment, he just shrugged when I asked for exercise ideas.  I can’t afford a personal trainer because, while I have money, I also don’t work so I need to save it.  (I’m not on disability.)

I’d give anything to not be shamed.  I feel like the shaming closes me in.  There’s no way out.  My only comfort is that I will die early and be done with this miserable life.

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I’m also obese - morbidly - and struggle so much with despair over my body because I was also one very healthy and had a beautiful body until serious illness forced me to be largely sedentary, medication also tanked my metabolism and I started eating very unhealthy while coping with childhood trauma and the adult sexual harassment that triggered all the buried toxins to rise to the surface.

If you can swim somewhere (YMCA?) I highly recommend it - it’s a great overall exercise and zero impact, so really perfect for heavy people. I’m anxious for the pool at my low cost gym to reopen. In the meantime it’s walking in the woods with my dog where I’m less likely to see people and feel their judging gaze, and where the surface is gentler on my joints - sidewalks give me sore feet and shin splints.

One thing that makes me crazy - my doctor sent me for an evaluation at the medical weight management center, and the bariatric surgeon was very bullish on me getting sleeve gastrectomy. My insurance company will happily shell out many thousands for me to go under the knife - but won’t shell out anything for gym membership or personal training. I truly believe that with the help and motivation from a trainer I could make a serious change in my health without surgery, but I can’t afford a trainer on my own. I hesitate to just jump in and try weights and machines and all that without guidance, because I have a number of previous injuries from the serious illness I suffered and I’m afraid to hurt myself in a serious way - I would need the guidance of a professional, like a PT (physical therapist) even to make sure I could work out without harming myself in permanent ways.

I think this is a big issue in our healthcare system, that it will happily pay tens of thousands and risk the costs of very serious surgical complications, but won’t pay a few thousand to give an obese person with health issues an opportunity to get expert guidance in changing their lifestyle and health for the better. It just seems to underscore that true health isn’t really the objective.

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