Reply to wife keeps her name

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "wife keeps her name"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I appreciate you taking the time to post that, but I am not going to assume that your husband would be 100% ok with you keeping your name and you not giving the kids his name.

You gave him the recognition he deserves and I'm certain he's happy about it. It's easy to say after the fact that he would have been ok with anything. Why don't you suggest changing your name and your kids names and see how he feels?

This is just a tough issue. Women want to keep their names because it has become a part of their identity. Women want to be able to pass some part of their name to the next generation also. And many men spend their whole lives imagining starting their "Smith" family and fully embracing the responsibility and honor that comes from being a father and a provider for a family

[b]And the reality is when two people join to form one family, something has got to give. This isn't an everybody wins scenario.[/b][/quote]

OMG that is the problem we all have with you right there. Getting married IS an everybody wins scenario when both people feel like equal partners.

FWIW my husband and I had a conversation about this before we got married when I asked him how he would feel about it. He said he didn't care. After I decided to change I asked him if he would have considered changing to my name and he said he didn't know if he would have done it but he would have talked it over and considered it. And that is really what is lacking from your posts. Any remote amount of empathy for how your wife feels about any of this. Its all about you, how people will see you, how she is treating you, how your children will view you. Nothing about what it means for a person to give up their last name. How they would at minimum want their husband to understand that. This is the first post you have even brushed up against thinking about how the woman feels and you end it basically saying that not everyone can win with having explicitly saying above that if you can't 'win' this you would abandon a person who you loved at that point to want to marry. I would not enter into a marriage with a man who had to 'win' against me to marry me. No one wins when my husband and I fight, we talk through the issue until we're past it, no one of us is ever a victor. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics