Reply to Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Before I married DH, I had slept with more than 30 people. He is older than me and his number was higher. Some of my partners were within the confines of a relationship, but a lot weren't. If I had it all to do over again, I would probably not sleep with about half of them, but I can say that with the hindsight that those sexual encounters were not as fulfilling as I hoped they would be. By which I mean, I did not feel sexually satisfied by the partners I chose/was chosen by for a variety of reasons - lack of attention, inexperience, physically incompatible. None of those things are things I could have automatically know prior to sleeping with them, which is why I say "with hindsight". DH knows how many people I've slept with. He knows that most of this was outside "relationships" as usually defined. He is fine with it, though is excited when we try things I haven't done, or when I tell him that such and such was like the first time all over again. I think everyone wants to feel like they're special. In his case, he really is the best lover I've had.

His number of sexual partners doesn't bother me either. At first, I was concerned that he seemed to be going through women like Kleenex in his early 20s. His explanation was that he was good looking, talented, and in a popular band. He is also very considerate in bed - puts the lady's pleasure before his own, etc. - and he thinks this was not common for dudes in his town/scene/time. He is flummoxed by this, telling me "What is the point if she isn't enjoying it more than I am?"

We have a daughter now. She is 4. My hope for her is that she has as many sexual partners as she needs to feel like she knows what she wants. If her very first lover is the one, and that doesn't fade the way it faded for me and everyone else I know personally, that's great. If she spends a decade figuring out what she wants sexually and trying new things, I am also okay with that. I would hope that she is having sex for the right reasons - because she is attracted to the person, because they make her feel special, because she cares about them, etc. I would hope that she is not having sex because everyone else is doing it, because she is being pressured or because she is trying to fill a quota. [/quote]

PP here. Clearly this puts me in the "SLUT" category, but frankly, the OP and the other "YOU ALL ARE SLUTS" posters' opinions of my bedroom behavior do not matter to me. The only one whose opinion I care about is the man I sleep next to every night.[/quote]

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