Reply to Belle Burden’s “Strangers”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see this differently than a lot of other commenters and don’t necessarily judge him leaving the kids.

I was married to someone with a personality disorder and one of his favorite threats was to threaten to take the kids from me. This was despite me being the primary caregiver.

Would it be better if she was forced to lose primary custody and not see her kids half the time? I believe a child needs both parents, but there is some nuance when one parent has been the primary parent all along.

While she comes from money, she was mostly illiquid, and he was working 24-7 to support that lifestyle. I am familiar with that NY finance lifestyle and you can’t have it both ways. If you want the country house, private school and nice apartment then your husband is mostly absent unless you have generational wealthy to use. It’s not surprising he was mostly absent. I highly doubt she ever offered to return to work so he could scale back and spend time with the kids. She instead probably wanted that Colony Club membership more. Then they get divorced and it makes sense she continued on as the primary and really only true parent.

IMHO the gentlemanly thing to do wasn’t for him to leave her AND take her kids half the time while he was at it. He probably thought he was choosing the lesser of two evils.

I’ve known plenty of these NY women and they are vapid, shallow and their main priority is the lifestyle and social life. I’d be shocked if she’s not similar. [/quote]

this is the best comment in this thread and as a Native New yorker this is so true.

[/quote]

Your average person can easily fall for her story. [b]If you have any experience with her world then you can poke many holes in her story. [/b]

Also everyone on the internet claims the guy is a narcissist with a personality disorder. No way. Any man with a personality disorder/narcissist would be speaking out to the media and relishing in the drama. Instead he’s been quiet with the exception of one statement that said very little. That’s not how a narcissist responds to conflict.

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You’re very naive about narcissism and personality disorders. [/quote]

Wouldn’t a narcissist go nuts in a divorce?  It doesn’t seem common to to MIA and leave the ex-spouse alone. I thought they like conflict, no?[/quote] Yes.By making the legal process as awful as possible. It's not always about stalking and harassing.[/quote]

Like what? Genuinely curious![/quote] in my case insisting on litigating when I requested mediation several times. There is not enough money at stake to warrant a legal battle that is already into 6 figures. Filing frivolous motions. Stalling. Forgetting to submit paperwork resulting in court rescheduling. Constantly having some emergency crop up so everything is rescheduled and pushed back. It has been endless. I have spent a $hit ton to refute false allegations. He is doing everything he can to rattle me. It’s not working but my lawyer sees what he has been doing. This has gone on so long our first judge retired. So back to court just to bring new judge up to speed. My ex seems determined to exert control over me but it isn’t working and his behavior is finally working against him. I got good advice from people who told me this would be a marathon. And I have an excellent therapist. But the whole process has been ridiculous. He could have had daily therapy for the last 18 months for less than the cost of his insistence on going to trial. [/quote]

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