Reply to Son only cousin excluded from nephew's wedding

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yep, seems that there are 2 issues mixed up. The groom and bride did nothing wrong setting a 16+ threshold: their wedding, their decision. The OP on the other hand feels entitled, as she gave a gift and unknowing to the groom, it came with strings attached. Don't give gifts if you then expect special treatment at other people's milestone events. What's next? Expect to spend a week in their house every year because you gave the $15K? The problem for you doesn't seem to be that your son got left out (and he doesn't care and even know about it unless told), the problem seems to be that you expect special treatment based on the money you previously gave. [/quote]

From one of OPs updates she was worried that if she only gave the couple a $200 gift when they will expect thousands from her. This is either in their head or the extended relatives need to stop expecting large sums of money. If the nephew or his parents will be upset that OP didn’t give them thousands then screw them. [/quote]

That is NOT what the OP said at all. She said she'll buy them a $200 gift from the registry as a f* you and would have otherwise given them thousands. [/quote]

In what world is a $200 gift to a nephew a FU?

We are pretty wealthy and no one in our extended family buys a wedding gift more than $200-$300! In fact it would be considered very tacky to fill the registry with items above $200. Giving cash to anyone other than your own children would be equally trashy.[/quote]

The OP said that if her son would've been invited, she would have given a gift in the thousands. That's her world, try to keep up. Comparatively, a $200 gift from the registry is cheap. [/quote]

Just proves that she gave money for control/access and not the goodness of her heart. [/quote]

Please. She gave him money to help him because she felt close to him and wanted to see him succeed.

It sounds like she expected to be treated like family in return.

Instead, her kid is the only one excluded from that side of the family. This is not about control, this is about reading the room and not being a doormat. Good for her for not going.

And I think it’s the right call to simply send their regrets with a cheap gift. No need to cut off contact, just match energy. [/quote]

Clearly you and OP think the world revolves around you. And, she is being punitive because she's giving him a low, spiteful amount in anger. So passive and lacking in self-awareness. [/quote]

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