Reply to Son only cousin excluded from nephew's wedding

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your feelings are understandable. But I promise you this has nothing to do with your son - 100% this is driven by the bride, overall guest count and a gaggle of kids she's trying to tactfully exclude. So she chose 16 as the cutoff. My own 9 yr old would have been fine to stay with a good friend for a night or two. But if you're not comfortable with your babysitting options then you go alone or not at all. Then move past this. [/quote]

Look, my cousin had to face an age cut off for her wedding, it was based on the venue requiring extra insurance for an event that combined alcohol + kids. I've helped this cousin out in the past (she lived with me for an internship in college).

She called me and explained the situation and recommended a babysitter locally that a friend used.

That's how you handle that kind of thing if you truly want someone at a wedding and are in a bind.[/quote]

That's a choice to use that venue with a strange issue. Sounds like an excuse I'd roll my eyes at.[/quote]

Why should your minor child’s attendance be important to the bride and grooms decision making process? (Hint - it shouldn’t be)[/quote]

Right, so it's not important to them. Which is fine, they are entitled to have a no-kids wedding. But I'm just saying it's dumb to blame the venue when they venue is a choice.[/quote]

True, the venue is a choice. But most people planning what is likely the biggest and most expensive event of their lives don’t have unlimited choices.  They might, say, have the reception at the church because it’s handicapped accessible, easy for the guests, and an inexpensive option, but: oops, one with rules and constraints.   And families are different. Like OP apparently expects that, in the middle of planning their wedding, without her having to say a word, the bride and her parents will see her gift and somehow know that the groom’s aunt chose a toaster instead of a set of dishes because she gave the groom money when he was a college student but they didn’t invite her 9 year old son.  People are interesting.  [/quote]

The church venue is absolutely not going to have an issue with kids.

I don't disagree with the premise that options are limited in light of costs etc but in most of these examples that is not the driver.[/quote]

Not the PP but geez it's obvious that was an example.  As an ancedote we actually DID look into the hall at our church but the official capacity limit was smaller than I realized (so we would absolutely have had issues with # of guests invited), no alcohol, and there was a rodent issue at the time so it wasn't going to work for us.  I think the point is that when you filter down by budget, location, and availability, your options are not endless.  We ended up at a county park venue but they can be super popular and we had to schedule over a year out.  And we have no idea where this nephew lives or what options they have.[/quote]

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