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Reply to "NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on""
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Main Line and Westchester are not much comparison. Philadelphia is a very poor city. It has so much history and good food but the people are so provincial and often don't leave the state ever. The politics of the state are ridiculous and stuck in the 1800s. [/quote] yep. Not at all the density of high-powered legal jobs as NYC. so it’s not really a comparison for most NYC partners, except in that if they believe they are “poor” in NYC then yes, maybe they need to trade some of the prestige and money of NYC for something slower paced. I went to law school in NYC and practiced in Philly at the beginning of my career and the cool thing is that most of my cohort went on to do a broad variety of interesting stuff in/around Philly (small firms, legal aid, DA, AG, opened own non-law businesses) specifically because Philly is so much more affordable and you are not locked into the law firm track the way you are in NYC. [/quote] Exactly. No one is arguing Philly is more exciting or even overall better. [b]But it is better not to live in a shoebox and shoehorning three kids into a tiny space so you can brag about being a New Yorker[/b]. Go look at Rittenhouse if you want an urban neighborhood in Philly. [/quote] +10000. The people who insist on doing this are insufferable. They also are typically lifelong renters. [/quote] Yep. You need to have family money, be in finance, or be an entrepreneur to live the life the redditor wants. Being a non-rainmaker partner doesn’t cut it and their NW will be a fraction of what it would be if they lived in the suburbs or a lower cost of living metro. [/quote] Again - the density of law and finance jobs cannot be paralleled in other cities. People move to NYC because they want the NYC lifestyle- which yes, includes less square footage [b]but much much more to do outside of the home [/b]and higher power work. If you don’t want that then don’t move there, but don’t delude yourself into thinking New Yorkers are crying themselves to sleep over your McMansion. [/quote] This is debatable, especially when you have kids. Whenever I’m in NYC visiting family/friends I’m struck by how the only thing to do is go out to eat or to a playground. If you’re actually wealthy with multiple nannies then maybe you’re living a fabulous NY lifestyle. But the average $800k lawyer is hardly living it up. They aren’t doing anything you can’t do in any metro area in the US. They are just doing it with less square footage and less disposable income. [/quote] Correct. They have 2-3 regular neighborhood restaurants (not Le Bernadin) like they would in Scarsdale or Bethesda and they take advantage of NYC's artistic offerings to a similar degree (almost never). No one is jealous of or impressed by your living in NYC, unless you have a 30+mm net worth, big apartment, weekend house, and place in Florida or Aspen for the winter. Then yes, lord it over us.[/quote] +1000. For all but the impossibly wealthy, living in NYC with children is exhausting. [/quote] Did you live in NYC with children? I’m not so sure what’s exhausting about having your kids’ elementary school two blocks away; multiple playgrounds, parks, libraries and museums within walking distance; delicious (affordable and fast) food options on every block; then when they turn 13 they can get themselves wherever they need to go on the subway? Totally fine if that is not for you but you just sound like a rube when you make those kinds of statements. [/quote] Yes I did, and life was much easier when we moved to a major US city where we could still walk to all those things (well, not museums, but those are an easy subway ride away) and kids were using good public transit without adult supervision by 13, but we also could afford a home with a little room to spread out (although still not large) and a yard so that they could play outside without constant supervision, and we could use the car easily when we needed to and get out of the city easily when we wanted to, and so much less traffic noise--I didn't realize how stressful the noise was until I moved to a city with less traffic. (To be clear, traffic where I live is very bad. It's just not NYC bad.) I love NYC, but I didn't love it with kids. [/quote] Great you made a good choice for yourself instead of whining that you are poor in NYC. Unlike the dumb*ss OP. [/quote] Anyone making 850k and has their children splitting a bedroom fits the dumb*ss description. Also thinking you’re doing well with 850k a year in NYC is idiotic. [/quote] Since when is having children share a bedroom a negative? I shared a room with two sisters and turned out pretty damn great [/quote] The issue isn't sharing a room. It's parents choosing themselves over their kids. OP's kids don't share a room out of necessity, nor because OP thinks it's a good formative experience. They are sharing a room because OP made a series of short-sighted and selfish choices and now she's blaming the situation on her apparently recent discovery that NYC is super expensive. We're your parents selfish idiots too, or....?[/quote] Curious, what did your parents refuse to buy you? An American girl doll? Nike sneakers? Anyway, whatever it was, that’s not why your life turned out the way it did.[/quote] Nope. I'm speaking as a parent who understands that you don't have THREE KIDS before for firing it out where you will live and where they will go to school. It's one think to have one kid before you have this figured out, but three? And then to blame circumstances that you knew to be the case before you had any kids? If OP were living in poverty or lacked education, I'd be empathetic because it can be hard to make good choices if you haven't been given many opportunities in life and are in survival mode. But she's a lawyer. A partner! She made the CHOICE to ignore her kid's needs and refuse to plan for their future. They will resent her for this later.[/quote] You sound unhinged. I’m pretty sure the redditor is giving her kids a great upbringing with more advantages than the vast majority of the planet. Geez. Why are you so angry about where a complete stranger is making a life?[/quote] Making 850k and forcing children to live in shared bedrooms all to live in Carrolll Gardens (lol) is not a recipe for a great upbringing. The Red Hook projects are 2-3 blocks away too. [/quote] Go look at the map, the Red Hook projects are a good 15-20 minutes hike with a highway in the middle of it. Besides, there is no place in the walkable areas of NYC that is not within 15 minutes from some “undesirable” housing. [/quote] It’s a seven minute walk from Red Hook East to the Dunkin in Carroll Gardens. There’s an army of criminals and sex offenders in that housing projects. Also keep in mind Carroll Gardens is a big step down from Brooklyn Heights and even Cobble Hill. [/quote] New Yorker here. Tell me you haven’t been to NYC in at least a decade without telling me you haven’t been to NYC in at least a decade. 90 percent of the posts on here are written by tourists who don’t know the city. Cobble hill is extremely desirable. Carrol gardens is extremely desirable. As is Park Slope and many other neighborhoods you haven’t heard of bc you clearly don’t know NYC. FWIW Brooklyn heights has long been considered a bit passé and boring, although the promenade is pretty. It is not a ‘top’ area to live for most people. Red hook is a desirable and totally fun place to live. Yes, there are many projects in one section but guess what? That’s true of pretty much every NYC neighborhood. The city was designed that way. And there are also many mixed income buildings around as well. Again, this was by design, and the city has ramped up those types of projects. The city is meant to be vibrant and not full of just wealthy white people who are lawyers and finance people. If you want that, go to the suburbs and eat at a chain restaurant. And fyi the public school system, especially at the high school level is amazing. And kids can go to any school they apply to and get in. They are not limited by zone. [/quote] Desirability is measured by price. Brooklyn Heights is more expensive than Park Slope and Carroll Gardens because it is more desirable. No one said the redditor is white. It’s also appalling you assume lawyers and financiers are all whites. There wasn’t some city charter or decree saying it has to be “vibrant” and mixed income. The last three decades of NY say otherwise. The public schools are horrible. Even if you get into Stuyvesant, it is an unhealthy environment. [/quote] Your real estate info is inaccurate. BH has some very expensive/large real estate along the promenade but overall it is not necessarily more expensive than other areas of Brooklyn. Of course you forgot DUMBO, boerum hill, LIC, and a number of other areas that have great real estate bc you don’t actually know the neighborhoods. You have no idea what you’re talking about when it comes to the public schools. You mention Stuy bc as a tourist it’s the one school you’ve heard of. I won’t list out what my kids had access to and some of their peers bc it will identify me, but I am constantly in awe of the opportunities they had just living here. Truly irreplaceable, no matter how much money I had. And of course there are non whites in those fields, but they are still largely white, sorry that’s just the reality (that many of us would like to see changed). My point was that I suspect many people like you worried about living near ‘the projects’ are primarily concerned about being around non whites or people who aren’t wealthy/UMC. I am constantly amazed by how often people unconsciously view non white areas as ‘dangerous’. I’ve lived in NYC for decades and of course there is affordable/public housing around, as there is everywhere in NYC. But I’ve literally never ever been the victim of a crime except two times in the least diverse areas of NYC- 25 years ago near Wall Street when my car window was broken and when I lived in Brooklyn heights and someone stole my purse when I left it at a bar (so sort of my fault). My kids have never been the victim of a crime either. Not once. Sorry, but you just don’t know anything so you should stop pretending you do. [/quote] I said Stuy because there’s only three good schools in the Bronx. Horace Mann, Fieldston, and Riverdale [/quote]
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