Reply to No Kids at Wedding - Why So Much Anger?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If weddings were one-evening affairs you’d have a lot less heartburn over kids. Plenty of people are willing to leave their kids for an evening but not a weekend.

My aunt shamed us HARD about my cousins wedding (called my mother who was undergoing chemo, called my in laws to ask if they would watch my kid…) we ultimately hired a nanny to travel with us and entertain our kid and her cousins but there was certainly no gracious acceptance of a declined invitation in my case. I think bad behavior is equally distributed across brides/grooms and their guests. [/quote]

Why would your aunt have your in-laws number? The problem seems to be dysfunctional families, not wedding etiquette. [/quote]

Because they had attended a number of events together over the 15 years I’ve been married?

The issue isn’t dysfunction, it’s unrealistic expectations of what a wedding is/means/requires. Weddings being a three day affair is simply not the same ask as the service at 4:30, dinner and dancing at 6:30 weddings my parents loved not taking us to as kids.[/quote]

What type of weddings are you attending?  Most I attend are The Wedding itself, cocktails and hor'derves and then the reception with dinner and dancing.  
If it is close relatives or we are in the wedding party, then there is the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner the night before.  That's it.  Many people now invite many people to the rehearsal dinner the night before as well (I've been to 3 in the last year for family), but not all.  So at most it is a 2 day event, and the day of the wedding we have to ourselves until the 3/4pm wedding.

But what are these 3 day affairs you reference? 
[/quote]

Every wedding I’ve been to in the last five years has been a “rehearsal dinner” (no actual rehearsal unless you’re in the wedding party— and if you are add a whole day the day of the rehearsal…) then the wedding itself, then the after party, then a farewell brunch. In one happy case the after party was in the same hotel but usually it hasn’t been.

When I was a kid, I never went to weddings with my parents unless I was in them, and even then there was a room set aside with pizza and movies we weren’t eating wedding food at the tables, we got to go to the dancing and the cake. So I have [b]no[/b] belief that kids need to be at weddings. But my parents left the house in the afternoon and be home that same night. If weddings were like that now we’d say yes to a lot more invitations, but people seem afraid to have less than a weekend worth of parties.[/quote]

Where did you get the idea you had to attend all the events? If local just go to the ceremony and reception.[/quote]

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