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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven’t read the comments but I don’t think boomer parents realize that is millennial parents are like borderline suicidally overwhelmed. We can’t afford what they could and need to work bananas hours with forced corporate personas to hold down jobs where we make more than they ever did but can afford much less and where everyone is at a full sprint competition wise at all times. On top of that we are expected to raise kids, some of whom have sn, with unwavering patience, full attention and empathy. This is correct but hard. On top of that, we can’t afford much help or really to even go out to eat much (my parents went out whenever they wanted) or to have our own time bc the cost of everything is nuts. We live in houses that are way smaller than we dreamed or further away. We aren’t even supposed to have a glass of wine any more in the 1 hour we have free before we pass out in the evening. We are at capacity. I once asked my mil if they could come later in the day on xmas eve as it was my first day off in ages and I needed a ‘mental health reset’ and she teased me and was offended about the mental health part. It’s not a joke though - we are all on ssris and half of us fall asleep fantasizing about running away forever. I have my ILs this weekend after a week of insane work and I absolutely hate it. It’s like a straw that broke the camels back and yesterday I escaped for 30 mins and cried in the car. They are totally oblivious to my life - it’s like if someone from the west wing was hosting the mom from everyone loves Raymond. 
So op - it’s prob not about you, although the criticism if it’s not poking fun sounds like resentment. Is it possible that you are oblivious to their stressors? Call and say are you ok. Really listen to the answer. And then say - it feels like we’re a burden: I don’t want to feel like that and I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed. I want you to be able to talk to me and I want to help and not be yet another obligation. Let’s figure this out [/quote]

This doesn't perfectly resonate with me but a lot of it is spot on. Specifically this sense that my parents and ILs have absolutely no idea about my life and don't really understand the pressures I'm under or why I can't always just relax and hang out. They are often confused by the fact that we have limited vacation time and can't visit or host them whenever we want, that our lives are very circumscribed by work and school schedules, and that like 95% of our money is going straight to mortgage, retirement, and college savings and we actually haver really limited disposable income because we live in fear of the costs of aging and college. And also worry constantly about our kids launching and what the world will look like for them and how much we will need to help them if this is what it's like for us.

But if you even reference any of this they kind of roll their eyes and are like "we know, we raised kids too, it's the same as it ever was" and, uh, no it is not. It's really different. There is a lot more pressure on this generation of parents and I think we have a lot more fear about where things are going and if we will have the resources to deal with it. [/quote]

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