Reply to 6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends

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Reply to "6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The teachers has mentioned this shift of friendship at the end of 5th grade, 6th grade and throughout middle school many times.  A big shift they said. Kids start to find their real interest and not the interest of their parents. 
And you just hope the social skills you taught your kids will kick in. And activities is where people meet other people, even for adults. 
So, your child can not be looking at a screen all week long. He/She needs to be doing something. Try a new thing. Find an interest. And at this age, it is hard because they no longer want to be controlled by the parents. 
[/quote]

This is all true. It is sad that some kids can be very mean and socially abusive about the shift, which is incredibly hurtful. Things like everyone standing up from the lunch table and moving when a kid sits down actually happen. That is quite different from just a normal shift in friends interests. The slow fade is painful enough, not need to pile on with public humiliation. So in addition to teaching kids how to find their new interests and friend groups, parents should also teach their kids how not to be cruel about it when they are no longer close to a former friend. Shifting friendships is normal, cruelty and mean behavior while it happens is not.[/quote]

Friends shift. You don’t have to be cruel about it. 
[/quote]

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