Reply to Why are people here so averse to pushing their kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t really care too much about what other parents are doing. I have parent friends who run the full gamut from not pushing at all to the other extreme.

Some kids like being pushed and having high expectations. Some kids react poorly. Some kids were made for school and sports, others aren’t.

My kids are self motivated, do very well academically, while struggling more in other areas, and are prone to anxiety snd perfectionism. For that reason, and also because I had a bad experience with being pushed too hard growing up, I am very lax with their school performance. I focus on “reasonable effort” and often discourage my one child from spending too much time on their homework. I do care that they learn. I don’t care about the grades. And I care that they have balance in their lives, and that they are kind, and have life skills. [/quote]

+1, parent the kids you have. I also have a perfectionist who is very hard on herself. Sometimes I support her ambition because I do think if you have a child who wants to do very well academically, you owe it to them to provide them with the support and tools to do so. But I don't push -- none of the pressure to perform comes from us. We are the ones reminding her to maintain balance in her life, to spend time with friends and develop social skills, to have ways to relax and have fun. Once I showed her some research that demonstrated that human brains absorb information better when they get proper rest and breaks, and that some of your learning actually probably happens when you are sleeping or doing other non-academic activities, because that's when your brain makes the connections that commits new information to long term memory and synthesizes it with other info. That was really helpful. Now it's easier to get her to stop working on homework or studying for a test.

Other kids might need more encouragement to do their homework and fewer reminders to have fun. It just depends.

I think people "here" push their kids plenty, to be honest.[/quote]

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