Reply to If you are a working mom, why?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My big why - if women aren't in the workforce, men will be running everything, making the decisions, shaping the world we live in - and that's not good for my daughters.

That being said, SAH and WOH both suck for me. As a SAHM I missed having a deeper purpose in life, and as a WOHM I desperately missed my kids. As a SAHM I had to beg my H for money, and as a WOHM I had to beg my H to help with the kids. I'll be damned if I ever have to do those again.

What has worked well for me is I started my own business WAH and hired a nanny. So I get the rewards of work and financial security, and I get to see and play with my babies throughout the day, plus I have all the flexibility I need for family life. [/quote]

I think it would be very hard to find anybody who thinks women should not be in the workforce.  The issue is what is the best start for children when they are infants and toddlers, before they start school full time at about age 5.  Many parents, not just women, believe their children will get a better start in life and have a better daily experience with a loving parent home caring for them during those early years.  Some parents don't believe that, they think paid childcare is just as good as parent care.  Each family has to decide for themselves what they believe, what they can afford, and what the whole family will benefit most from.

Your solution sounds well thought out and clearly works well for you.  [/quote]

It’s cute to say women “belong in the workforce” and then advocate for 5+ year gaps in their professional careers. I certainly wouldn’t let a surgeon touch me who hadn’t held a scalpel in five years. So by “women belong in the workforce” what you mean is “women belong in subservient, lesser roles, even in the workplace”

No thanks. [/quote]

So you disagree that each family should figure out what is most important to them and then design their life around that the best they can?  What I'm getting from your response is you believe there is only one solution.[/quote]

DP. I think the problem is that the priorities are:

1. What is best for the kids
2. What is best for dad
.
.
.
99. What is best for mom

Look at the attitudes on this board: that SAHMs aren’t entitled to any of “their husband’s” money, that working fathers get to relax and have leisure time while moms needs to be on duty 24/7 because that’s the trade off for not working, the belief that childcare is bad for kids.

I think for SAH to benefit *the entire family* - not just kids and dads - things need to be equitable. Mom and dad get equal leisure time. Mom gets access to all the money and can spend how she sees fit - including spending on herself. When mom returns to the workforce, dad takes a career hit for 5+ years so she can build her career back up, meaning he needs to be responsible for at least 75% of pickups and dropoffs, sick days, etc. The things no one enjoys doing, like deep cleaning, gets outsourced rather than forcing mom to do work she hates.

And honestly most SAHMs I know stayed home out of a sense of guilt. Very few truly enjoy being at home, most would rather work. But everyone guilt trips them, and their Hs don’t contribute equally at home. [/quote]

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