Reply to Growing share of childless adults in U.S. don’t expect to ever have children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Fine by me. I’ve always wanted 4 kids, so if people want to have fewer to offset my strong drive to reproduce, it’s a win for us all. [/quote]

YOu call it a strong drive to reproduce, I call it a breeding fetish.[/quote]

That’s fine with me. I love having tons of kids around, love being pregnant, love the baby stage, love it all. Some people wanna spend their life traveling or on hobbies, I want to spend mine raising kids. [/quote]

We have two biological kids and this is so weird to me. Pregnancy is so taxing on the body (so much prolapse after 3+ pregnancies) and the birthing itself is horrific. It takes so much effort, time, and $ to raise a child properly that I can't phantom having a litter of them. You are supposed to read at least 30 minutes to them every night before bedtime, so even if you had them back to back, which is unhealthy (again, prolapse), the kids will be at different literacy stages, so you'd basically have to spend 2 hours each night doing barely adequate reading. I can't see how anyone with limited resources can raise so many kids properly and give them the right start in life. It will always be a compromise - less personal attention, so and so school district, not a lot of quality food, not a lot of college $. Travel and being exposed to different things are crucial for a developing mind. 
One of the PP wrote that large modern families are a sign of binary financial resources (wealth or poverty) and this person is right. I went to college with someone who is one of five and all of them grew up with several governesses, went to the best lower schools, and  were shipped to Deerfield in 9th grade. They are all successful and well adjusted. It takes a TON of $ to raise five the right way.[/quote]

PP. For sure there are compromises, but we’re not sending our kids to garbage schools and foraging for food in dumpsters. Kids go to a great charter school. We eat better quality food than most because I’m great at cooking and meal planning. I don’t spend 2 hours reading at night, we incorporate learning and reading throughout our day and into other activities. We’re not traveling to Europe anytime soon, but we all love camping and regularly travel to camp, which is cheap. Kids are all at the top of their class and are regularly in the 98-99th percentile on standardized tests. I volunteer 15+ hours a week at school so I can be with kids more and keep an eye on how they’re doing, and work 15 hours a week from home. H works a super flexible job with great work-life balance so he’s very involved. Pregnancy has been easy, I spent my first pregnancy reading everything I could on how to preserve your body and did tons of exercises to keep everything in working order. Now I just maintain those exercises and keep up strength training, and pregnancy is easy peasy. No prolapses or even leaking. These things were a priority for me so I did the work to make it happen. Three kids total with number 4 on the way :) Oh also, get rid of the screens. That made a huge difference. Guarantee my kids get more family and one-on-one  time than the singleton kids I know who are on screens 3-4 hours a day because mom and dad are busy working.

And I’m not even the worst offender I know, lol. I know one family with 4 biological kids, 4 adopted kids, and at any given moment they are fostering 2-4 more. Mom is a SAHM, dad works a Fed job. Kids are all great and the family is pleasant to be around. Mom and dad even have time for dates and hobbies while still being highly involved with their kids.

There’s compromises with everything. I have a friend who has decided to prioritize travel and new experiences, so he takes overseas jobs in the Middle East that pay extremely well so he can blow $20-30k per vacation several times a year. He’d like a relationship but recognizes very few women want that lifestyle, so he’s at peace with being single. Or I have a friend who got divorced and decided to invest everything they had in their one child, so took a huge career hit, never got remarried or even dated, never had more children even though they wanted to. Or my sister, who decided not to have children so she could focus on a very challenging but rewarding career, and feel less stressed about money. You have to decide what is most valuable to you and make the necessary sacrifices. [/quote]
You just sound exceedingly smug. Not everybody is as “lucky” as you make yourself out to be. I took very good care of myself in pregnancy and still had major complications after both of my kids.[/quote]

Don't worry, they are all lies. She never finished high school and her brother is not a doctor. She thinks prolapse can be avoided by strength training 😆 Me too, PP. Don't forget that lots of women,  especially Black women, still die in childbirth. [/quote]

The U.S. has the worst maternal mortality rate in the developed world. Go on TikTok and look up #preexlampsiaawareness. The stories are heartbreaking.

https://www.tiktok.com/@bigfoot69ing/video/7024133283445296390

[img]http://cdn.statcdn.com/Infographic/images/normal/2231.jpeg[/img][/quote]

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