Reply to Any way to disinvite a cousin from an annual beach reunion

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you eat the food. You have an obligation to also prepare food. Do dishes. Unload diy. Etc. [/quote]

I don't think anyone is disputing this.[/quote]

MANY people on the thread are disputing this…[/quote]

Np, I think most people criticizing OP are not critical of this complaint. It's the Google sheet, expecting people to take care of her kids, and passive aggressive about addressing cousin's laziness. [/quote]

Somehow in all of this, a spirit of goodwill and just kindness/openness has been stomped out by the op's growing resentment and that is a really awful place to be. Op, you have to find a way to talk about it with her. That's it...you have been too passive and made yourself a martyr/victim. If when talking directly like, "I feel like we need to really share the tasks here...dinner, cleanup, etc" see how she responds. If it is not enough, then you stop doing the vaca together. In other words, you face who she is and decide accordingly if you can deal or want to deal with her. Then you act on that. She may lack understanding of basic lifeskills and how a group functions and shares. You lack basic, open communication skills and maturity too because you've martyred yourself. You both have stuff to work on. Once kids come along, the dynamics change. Maybe you are both stuck in old patterns, old behaviors. Just be open and kind, curious if you can. If you can't you need a break from her. [/quote]

+1 
Great post.  Haven’t seen you back in a while, OP.  Try to tap into curiosity about your cousin and dial down the derision.  She loves you and wants to spend time with you.  Try compassion and curiosity about her, and challenge yourself to communicate more directly.  Even what you wrote about what you asked her on her dinner day was not direct.  You own the gap between your expectations and her understanding.  [/quote]

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