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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't care if you're  SAHM or WOH mom.  I do care when I get SAHM tell me 'I would NEVER let anyone care for my child'.  That is nice for you since you have a supportive spouse who makes significant amount of money to allow you to have the luxury to stay home.  Comments like these upsets me. Don't you think all moms would like to have the luxury to have options but not all are fortunate.  Idon't identify myself through my career.  I could care less.  I only work for my paycheck to support my family and provide a certain quality of life for them.  My goal is to earn and save significantly so I can retire early.  [/quote]

I sah and we are far from rich. I knew My dh and I both wanted me to care for our children and not have them in someone else's care. We waited, planned, saved and lived off of one income for years before having kids. We'll never be rich, but we have the family life we want.[/quote]

Enjoy dependence![/quote]

You missed the part where we planned and saved for years. Also, we depend on each other.[/quote]

But why?  Why wouldn’t you want to have a flexible job where you can spend time with your kids AND remain an independent person?  My mom stayed home and sacrificed so much.   Now that she sees me work a flexible job I think it has hit her how foolish she was.

The main person sacrificing in this arrangement is you.  You won’t be contributing to your own retirement account.  You will face challenges retentering the workforce.  You have lost your identity outside of your kids and husband.  Of course your husband will go along with this arrangement.  [/quote]

NP. If you’re talking about a flexible part-time job, how many hours do you have to work to be not dependent on your husband? [b]If you’re talking about a flexible full time job where you work 40+ hrs/wk and also spend several hours per day with your children, then wow good for you but that sounds exhausting[/b].[/quote]

Working isn’t just about money.  It’s about being part of an equitable marriage where you aren’t just a nanny, cook and maid.  It’s having your own retirement account, getting out of the house.  It’s not experiencing a sudden change in your life (no longer going to work!) just because you had a child.  It’s having the same opportunities as a man.  It’s the ability to have a life and relationships outside of the home or children.  I could go on.

I work 40 hours with a less than 15 min commute.

I don’t find working and having a child exhausting.  Both are work but I wouldn’t want to give up my job or my child.

[/quote]

I didn't say anything about money. I asked PP how many hours a week a mom has to work to be considered independent.

I actually do have my own retirement accounts, that I built up through working bf having a child. And I leave the house every single day. In fact, I am "stuck in the house" for way less time per week than I was "stuck in the office." I do have the same opportunities as a man, but for now I'm choosing to stay home. Men also have the opportunity to stay home if they want. I had friends, family, hobbies, and interests outside of work while I was working, and I have those same friends, family, hobbies, and interests now that I'm at home.

[b]Finally, your post is pretty disrespectful to people who actually ARE nannies, cooks, and maids. Who takes care of your child while you're at work? Do they know that you feel such disrespect for them[/b]?[/quote]

I don’t have disrespect for PAID nannies, cooks and maids.

That’s great you once contributed to retirement but you’ve stopped.  You see the difference?

Your opportunities, both financially and career wise, are limited by not working.  That’s a fact.  You can’t argue that you’re improving your retirement account balances and adding to your resume by NOT WORKING.  [/quote]

Actually, if you invest early and often your retirement accounts do continue to grow even once you stop working assuming you don't touch them.  That's the magic of compound interest  :wink: .[/quote]

Duh.  Everyone know this.  I contribute 54k a year to retirement accounts through my employer.  Would you advise me to stay home because I maxed out my contributions in my 20s?  I doubt it.  Losing decades of contributing to retirement absolutely hurts women who typically live longer than men.  You’re not going to convince many that not contributing to retirement from age 35 on is going to be a good thing once you hit retirement age.  [/quote]

Curious: what’s your opinion of the FIRE movement or Mr Money Moustache? Also, say someone has built up enough retirement savings to retire at 45 - are they allowed to do that? Or do they have to keep working til 65?[/quote]

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