Reply to Would you not reciprocate a play date if friend’s house was too big?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s very rude of these “friends” to poke fun at your lifestyle.[b] [/b]It would be one thing if you were bragging but clearly you’re not.[b]

I would look into private schools where you will find wealth. There will be others with large homes and many without but I don’t think you’ll be called out on it.

It’s a frustrating problem to have- though I’m sure many of us would trade places in a second! [/quote]

I think owning a 15,000 sf home is basically like bragging about your wealth, though.  There's nothing subtle about it.  [/quote]

+1[/quote]

Same. Sorry, but if I saw that house + housekeeper, I would know we could not possibly be friends since we don't share the same general values. [/quote]

Same. Same. It's not that I wouldn't necessarily like you or think you're a nice person, but I would definitely not feel like we could really be friends. I would never feel comfortable inviting your or your children to my average 2500 sq ft house where we have to do all the cleaning, yard work, etc. Your kids would probably be bored too. 
[/quote]

Ok so I am not imagining it. My friend did drop me after coming over. I should hesitate to invite someone over.

The one friend I really like is a military spouse. We have hung out a few times and I really like her. She just offered me her daughter’s old raincoat and I felt grateful. This thread has confirmed that I should feel self conscious about inviting her over.

Another friend I met from a moms group and we meet up every week. We talk about sleep deprivation and things like teething. I know she doesn’t get paid help because they are saving up for home renovations.[/quote]

I agree, OP.  You can see from the direction this thread is going: "I'm not jealous!!! My friends live in mansions!! Really!!" how people feel. Sad, but true.  Insecurity is RAMPANT here. [/quote]

No, you are incorrect.  There are many people, myself included, who would not be jealous of OP.  You can't be jealous of something you would never want or that you find, frankly, gross.  It may be hard for you to see other perspectives, but try to understand that different people want different things.  As soon as I see the old, tired "you're just jealous" and "you sound insecure" response here on DCUM, it's a big red flag that the responder really just doesn't like the hard truth coming their way.  You have to tell yourself this to avoid the bad feelings that come from others responding so negatively to your life choices.  In reality, you just made bad life choices.  We're not interested in emulating you.[/quote]

Case in point.

You seem...I don't know....faux snobby.

Point being, you have no idea but to judge, and you don't control yourself, like a small child.

I may not want anyone's big house either (I don't own a house, so there is that), but I don't scold them for what makes them comfortable.  That is absurd - and says much more about you than OP. I bet OP has great parties, and I would be the first to attend parties with fun people (instead of wasting my time at parties with dour, NPD stricken looky loos - no thanks!). [/quote]

My response reflects that I care about the environment.  How is caring about the environment "faux snobby"?  This was my first response to this discussion; I'm not one of the PPs quoted up-thread.  I am merely pointing out that a negative response to another person's life choice can't be automatically dismissed as jealousy and that the "you're just jealous" response is childish and often wrong.

That said, I do think a house that size is wasteful.  No family of five needs 15k feet to be comfortable.  Come on.  I would keep my judgement about her house to myself if I knew OP, but she came on DCUM and asked a direct question.

I never said how I'd feel about play dates.  House size would not impact my decision regarding a play date with OP.  I'd be more interested in how our previous interactions had gone and how my child felt about her child. [/quote]

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