Reply to Am I the only one who doesn't feel bored as a stay at home mom?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just don't feel comfortable knowing that my life is made entirely possible by someone else's largesse.  I've always felt this way, even as a child when I realized some moms don't work outside the home.  It's an uncomfortable feeling.  [/quote]

I've been married 30 years and have been at home all but about six of them.  DH and I are both 50. I feel 100% comfortable knowing my life is made entirely possible by my DH's income.  He would tell you that his life is made 100% possible by me managing our home.  So it works out well in our family.

But if it gives you an uncomfortable feeling, you should definitely continue working.[/quote]

Fantastic answer and 100% true.  I worked for 11 years and have been fortunate enough to be home for 12.  I just laugh at the simpletons who can't grasp that marriage is a team effort, not an exercise in bean counting.  My husband is my biggest champion, and I am his - no matter which way our "division of duties" is divvied up.  [/quote]

MY marriage is not a team effort, it's an exercise in bean counting, which is why we both work full time. Not ideal, but yeah, it is, so neither of us would ever let the other SAH. In fact, we both make roughly the same amount (in 2016, I made 55% of the HHI).[/quote]

That is pretty pathetic that you even admit yours is a marriage based on bean counting.  And that neither of you would "ever let the other SAH."  Wow.  How awful, to compete not only at work, but also in your marriage.  Sad for your kids, too.[/quote]

At least I'm not in denial.  Many SAHMs think they are equal partners, when really, their husbands pick the vacation destination or the next car, and let their wives worry about the details.  What can a SAHM do if her husband decides to stay for a couple of days of vacation after a business trip?[/quote]

Wow!  A few things are crystal clear, just from reading your post.
1. Your marriage sounds incredibly tense and passive aggressive. Not to mention, sad and strange. 
2.  You're projecting your baggage onto people with much healthier marriages.

In my family, we ALL pick the vacation destination and then I get the fun of planning it, which I love.
When my husband goes on a business trip, he's the first to try and make it as short as possible because he'd rather just come home. Unless I go with him on said trip, however, which I do about once or twice a year.  Then he definitely takes some extra vacation days that we can enjoy together.  You should try it sometime!   [/quote]

The car and vacation examples are both drawn from two real life SAHM friends.  In both cases, the women are not only SAH, they are 8 and 12 years younger than their husbands.  In the car example, my friend wanted a family car when theirs broke down, her husband wanted something more business friendly.  He said, "If we can't agree, I'll just buy the car I want without your agreement."  Not all marriages with a WOHH and a SAHW are healthy.[/quote]

Duh. Just like not all marriages with 2 working spouses are healthy. All I know is that mine is egalitarian. And at no time has my husband ever done something like what you describe. Those women should definitely get jobs stat. I wouldn't advocate for any of my children becoming a SAHP until I know what kind of person they choose to marry. There are too many terrible ones out there. However, if they choose well, a SAHP can be a great thing for a family. [/quote]

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