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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]…..Kansas can very reasonably be included in the Bible Belt. For the sake of the sex ed discussion. (I’m younger than Jen but went to public school in Kansas City MO and it wasn’t all that great for me either. More puberty stuff, perhaps, but I don’t think consent or contraception or pleasure were discussed meaningfully at all.)[/quote]

Pleasure and consent were not touched on at all in my sex Ed in 1984 rural IL.(real similar to small town Kansas) I was a junior in college before I had date rape really explained to me in a class. [/quote]

I am sooooooo confused by all of these comments…… You were literally never told that you didn’t have to have sex if you didn’t want to?! Your teacher was just like, “If you’re on a date, and the boy says he’s ready, you MUST give it to him!”??? And also, pleasure wasn’t discussed? You never knew it was supposed to FEEL GOOD??? Why did you think people had sex all the time? Or do you mean - they didn’t teach you technique????

Admittedly, I haven’t listened to Jen’s podcast. But all of these comments are so weird. What do you think your high school health teacher SHOULD HAVE told you? [/quote]

Your comment is poorly worded. Perhaps you are triggered. I’m sorry if our experiences 35+ years ago on rural public middle school sex ed is weird for you.

Clearly we all understood sex must be pleasurable for it to be so desired by everyone. We’d all seen sex scenes in movies that suggested enjoyment. However our sex ed did not include any reference to anything besides simple heterosexual intercourse. There was not any communication about consent and what that could look like in real life. There was an attitude back then that if you messed around with a guy doing foreplay (also a topic not discussed) and sex occurred whether you really wanted it or not you had put your yourself in that position so it was your fault. Myself and many of my friends lost our virginity in this way. We’d all been told to wait till marriage but found ourselves with boyfriends who wanted more and more and frankly the foreplay felt good. The line was easily crossed once we were undressed and in vulnerable positions. These boyfriends knew our wish to avoid intercourse but that was overridden by their desire to penetrate. Seems clearly wrong now but the culture was different then. I can’t describe the heartache we all felt as Christian’s to have failed at maintaining our virginity. Mock if you will but the conservative Christian culture back then was a lot like what Jen and her speaker described on the podcast. Many of my friends had to work through sexual hang ups from spending years trying to avoid intercourse with their boyfriends then being unable to achieve orgasm once married and feeling like they were failing again at not being good at sex. Jen alludes to her and Brandon having sexual problems rooted in their early sexual training. Nothing but mercy for her on this. 
This was all before cellphones and the internet. I found romance novels at the public library to read about romantic sex since that was not being explained to me. My dad once found my Jackie Collins’s book and I was in serious trouble. Information from friends was sketchy as we were all having to learn from each other and what we could glean from books and our parents. My parents were by far the most open in discussing sex of my peer group but it was still lacking. We girls would pool our bits and pieces of info and share. To this day my bff’s from my teens are the ones who are the most open with me about their sex lives. Go figure, there’s no shame between us cause we’ve been doing this for decades. [/quote]

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