Reply to That Brock Allen Turner is a dirtbag

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It can be very confusing for an 18 or 19 year old boy when he is with a girl and they both been drinking heavily in regards to where the line is...especially if he has no explicit conversations with anyone about the exact parameters of what constitutes consent.

In many cases, you are asking a boy whose judgment is impaired to make judgment calls on the amount of impairment of the girl, something that can be very hard for him to do. A boy can be drunk and not realize the girl is as drunk or drunker than he is.[/quote]

I would expect a kid who gets into Stanford to realize that he should not finger a woman who is unconscious behind a dumpster.[/quote]

But he was a DRUNK kid who got into Stanford. Brains and rational thought go out the window when you're that drunk. Women can't trust someone like that to care what they're doing. [/quote]

True fact: I drank a lot of alcohol in college and did not finger any unconscious women behind a dumpster.[/quote]

True fact: Not everyone has the same intelligence level, emotional maturity, social experience, impulse control, ability to handle alcohol,etc.[/quote]

How about when in doubt, don't have sex with the person. No mental gymnastics or genius needed. Can't figure it out? THEN JUST STOP.[/quote]

Okay, so should he be asking her for permission for every single thing he does? Is he supposed to ask for permission to kiss her first? At each stage of the progression does he need to stop and ask her if what he's doing is Ok? What about when she is progressing things in her own physical manner? What is the conversation then? Or isn't there one?

Again, how many drinks constitute her ability to give consent? Does she specifically have to say the word yes, or it's ok?

For the parents of kids who are of the age where this is a pertinent discussion to have, what are the conversations you're having with your children to have with their potential parents regarding consent? [/quote]

These "when specifically does he need to ask for permission" and "what script does he need to run through" questions are so tiresome. There's not a script because different people are, just that, different. You should focus on teaching your children to have a real and sincere respect and empathy for others throughout their childhood. Once they become sexually active, you should be reminding them that sex involves consent from two parties and that the other person they are hoping to have sex with is also a real human to be respected and empathized with. To determine if someone wants to have sex with them, they should listen to the other person and attempt to actually understand their wishes. Tell them there's no checklist to go through in advance to determine when they can attempt to have sex, because each person has different desires and needs, but if they pay attention and actually try to understand what a potential romantic partner wants, they will get a clear sense of what their partner wants. And if they genuinely can't figure out, they should either ask explicitly or walk away.

Yes, it is very confusing on paper that you always need consent, but sometimes consent is implied through touch or eye contact or conduct. But it's only difficult in the real world if you let your children believe young women are a puzzle to be figured out so that you can fuck them. If you actually respect the person you're hoping to make out with, head questions aren't that hard in real life.

And let's stop pretending anybody's children are actually being convicted and sent to jail based on actual close calls. Those are the unicorn cases that feel like they actually exist because we always talk about them when they're not actually in issue. Like we're doing right now. This asshole attacked an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. This isn't a close call. And quite frankly, very few of the ones that actually see a courtroom are.[/quote]

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