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[quote=Anonymous]That I love you, but tomorrow, when I go to the divorce hearing, I don't really expect that it will give you the wake up call to change.  You still seem not to understand that none of this would be happening "to you" if you had not emotionally, verbally and physically abused me and denied your alcoholism for so long.  I know you think the changes you have made so far are enough, but they are not. This is not me being a jerk and not seeing the real you now.  I see the real you, and it isn't good enough yet.  You aren't making real changes and making amends for what you have done.  You are just trying to stave off the divorce, but it is really happening.

I deserve to be really loved.  I know you think you do, and I know you probably do, but your brand of love hurts me too much.  And I will cry like a baby on the stand tomorrow, because I really had so much hope when we started.  Giving up hope - giving up on you and us - is the single hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  I still love you.  I just can't be married to you anymore.  I feel like that song by Christina Aguilera and A Great Big World - Say Something.  Except the time for you to say something is now passed.[/quote]

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