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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven't read all the posts but if the OP and her husband felt uncomfortable and that something wasn't right about his reaction, I would trust your gut.  I have a brother-in-law who has always been difficult, uptight, and over reacted to situations that most people wouldn't.  I come from a large family and everyone noticed it but thought, well, he's good to our sister.  He's just different.  He was raised differently and has different values.  I remember a time he completely overreacted to my 4 or 5 year old son and made him cry.  My son was playing in a basement playroom where my sister told him to play.  He wasn't doing anything outrageous and my sister had told him to play there.  My brother-in-law overreacted and yelled at my son, scaring him and making him cry (not the first time).  I told my sister that we would stay at a hotel.  It was easier, less stressful, and that way I wouldn't have to worry about my kids behavior.  My sister begged me to stay and was really ticked off at her husbands behavior.  I gave in and stayed.  I continued to visit her and stay with them because she wanted me to stay.  I would have preferred a hotel.  Fast forward 5-6 years, we now know that my brother-in-law is abusive.  He has hit, pinched, and once tried to choke/strangle her.  He is also verbally abusive and manipulative.  She now has two kids with him.  My whole family put aside our reservations about him for her because we thought he was good to her.  Turns out he's been an abusive a**hole the whole time.  I always thought my sister was OCD about cleaning when I was there and now I know it was her attempt to avoid setting him off.  The situation sucks.

OP, unless you make a practice of over reacting to situations (think about what your friends and others who know you well would say), trust your instincts and don't stay there again.  I know there will be people who will accuse me of overdramatizing things but 1 in 4 women will be in an abusive relationship.  That is 25 percent of all women.  Abusive people don't appear abusive when you first meet them.  They reveal themselves slowly over time.  If they came in abusive, no one would ever let them in the door.  I wish I had listened to my gut years ago when I saw red flags.  I rationalized his behavior even though my gut told me he was a selfish jerk.  I should have listened to my gut.  OP please listen to your gut and don't let people justify inappropriate behavior by your brother-in-law.  As a prior poster said--he is an adult and should be in control and articulate.

[/quote]

This post is so spot on.  Never stay there again and try to be sensitive to how your sister's family life is.  OP, there area  lot of posters in this thread that are nuts.  He yelled/grabbed at your 4 year old child and then he turned around and yelled at your husband.    This is not normal.[/quote]

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