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[quote=Anonymous]  Thank you 16:29, I agree completely.  I tried to make similar points earlier in the thread in different way, but your approach is more persuasive.

Like 16:29, in my experience as a white parent of a kid who attends a H/Y/P/S-type school, when people I don't know well ask where my DC is in school the follow-up question I often get is also, "Where did you go to school" or "Did you or your spouse go to X too?"  I admit, I sometimes quietly enjoy seeing people's reactions when I tell them we did not, but I hope that if my child were a legacy, an athlete, a URM or all of the foregoing, that I would be as graceful and dignified in my reaction to these questions as 16:29.  And if 16:29's children are as poised and articulate under the fire of DCUM as 16:29 is her/himself, then it is no wonder that top ivy league schools would want his/her offspring.

Let me add this.  My DC's perspective on college admissions changed substantially once arriving at an ivy.  DC has always felt humble and fortunate to have been admitted from many equally well qualified students.  But since arriving at college, DC now sees that a difference of 100-200 points on a 2400 point SAT really says relatively little about the strength of a student at DC's school.  Yes, the higher the better all other things equal, of course, but DC often talks about the extraordinary achievements of so many of DC's classmates outside of the classroom -- founding companies, winning national competitions in poetry or science, writing articles in major newspapers or magazines, performing ones artistic talent before huge audiences. Maybe some of these students scored slightly below DC on standardized tests, maybe some were a few 10ths of a point lower in their GPAs, or did not get 5s on as many AP tests (and some certainly got more too), but they all deserve to be there as much as DC and -- truth be told -- DC still scratches his head sometimes with amazement that there was room for a kid like him who had not accomplished these sorts of things (but certainly as a bias parent I believe is wonderful and amazing in many other ways).  That does not mean that students who are not accepted at these schools are necessarily less remarkable than others who are there - there just aren't enough slots for them all -- and it is certainly true that many others can do the same level of academic work.

That does not make it any less painful if one believes his/her true dream is to go to a particular highly selective school but is not accepted.  That pain is real. But it really is true that there are more than enough great schools in and outside of the ivy league at the college level that each truly great candidate will find a place where he/she should have a wonderful college experience.

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