Reply to Son only cousin excluded from nephew's wedding

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yep, seems that there are 2 issues mixed up. [b]The groom and bride did nothing wrong setting a 16+ threshold: their wedding, their decision.[/b] The OP on the other hand feels entitled, as she gave a gift and unknowing to the groom, it came with strings attached. Don't give gifts if you then expect special treatment at other people's milestone events. What's next? Expect to spend a week in their house every year because you gave the $15K? The problem for you doesn't seem to be that your son got left out (and he doesn't care and even know about it unless told), the problem seems to be that you expect special treatment based on the money you previously gave. [/quote]

Sure. This is all a big fat nothing-burger.

Coming from a loving and functional family - there was no way in hell ANYONE in the family would have ever had these kinds of arbitrary requirements for any celebration that excluded family members.

I find this hilarious that people have no shame when they take gifts and then insist that gifts does not deserve reciprocity.

Anyways, my recommendation stands -  OP should neither attend, she should not send any gift and if asked why she is not attending she should make it clear that her child was excluded.

I love my parents, siblings, ILs...but I love my DH and my own kids more than them.

[/quote]

I’m sure the bride and groom feel the same. This is just a cousin and the bride barely knows him. OP hasn’t mentioned any relationship whatsoever between her son and the bride. Immediate family always comes first, duh.[/quote]

Only the bride's family matters?

Weddings are often the kickoff to these extended family relationships on the other side, not the culmination of them.[/quote]

Well, yeah, because who is paying for this wedding? The broke nephew who took thousands of OPs money? The hosts of the wedding, meaning paying for it, are calling the shots. And not every family is like your with big extended family relationships. Some like to keep it small and manageable. [/quote]

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