Reply to I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?

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Reply to "I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think what happens is sh*t needs to get done, so people ask people who have done the sh*t before successfully. Are they the nicest women you’d want to be friends with? Maybe not always. But they are there, doing things that benefit the community. Do they get a big head, are they rich enough that they have time to spare? Yes, often yes. This is the price of asking the quintessential PTA Mom or Church Lady to run things. [/quote]

These women are rarely asked.[/quote]

So why are others not stepping in and taking charge before they "maneuver" their way in? Others don't want to do take charge. It's similar to politics. A certain kind of personality is drawn to politics. People criticize them but don't want to jump in. [/quote]

Perhaps this is the case in some situations. Maybe with a PTA where leadership is totally volunteer based and really is a lot of work that most people don't want to do.

I was in a work situation once, though, where the person in charge was definitely manipulative and controlling and I know many people on staff (including me) had very real frustrations with the situation. There were several people who were ready and willing to take on more responsibility but the Queen B hated delegating and tended to view those people as threatening to her power, so they were sidelined and in some places pushed out. So it's not always the case that no one else is willing to do the work or take responsibility. Sometimes they aren't given opportunities.

After I left that job, I know that woman ultimately wound up doing something so egregious that she had to be asked to leave, and the people who replaced her were definitely more functional and less manipulative/controlling. But it took her taking something waaaaaay too far to get to that point -- she made things very unpleasant for many people, including me, for years before that finally happened.[/quote]

This was for actual work deliverables!!?

Or some internal thing like the office holiday party [/quote]

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