Reply to I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?

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Reply to "I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel you, OP. Our immediate neighborhood has one of these (you nailed the description) and it makes me want to move. I haven’t found too many people to be friends with, or they generally move away. [/quote]

OP here. Our neighborhood is really diverse so it kind of amazes me how often I wind up in proximity to women like this but it pretty much always happens. Right now my elementary-age kid attends a school (local public) where two such women are engaged in a weird battle for control of the PTA and one of them keeps trying to adopt me to her side even though I'm not super into the PTA and it's so uncomfortable and weird. I am getting tired of just always plastering a smile on my face at school events and then trying to duck out early to avoid running into either of them or winding up in a conversation with another parent who wants to discuss this dumb battle. I just don't care. But it also means it's hard to make friends at the school because so much revolves around these women who suck all the air out of every room.[/quote]

You don't have to befriend moms at your kids' school. This is an easy problem to solve. Be friendly but don't be friends. You have to change the tone you are giving off. [/quote]

Super easy to not join the pta. I am on the pta and most people decline.

I joined because my very nice friend was president last year. This year the president is like one of the moms OP is describing. I just see her at pta meetings and some birthday parties and don’t hang out socially as adults.[/quote]

This is what gives me pause about OP’s post.  It is easy to avoid these people and just not engage with any of this.  If you are drawn into it then you are part of it so not sure what to say.  Examine why you feel drawn to it OP is my advice.[/quote]

+1. There are a very few women that I know who do hold some positions of influence in the school or the HOA or the club or whatever, but I just…don’t engage with them that much. And when I do, I’m polite. I volunteer a bit but not over the top. Yes, sometimes when I volunteer for the school musical, I don’t love the way the committee chair is doing this or that. But I sure am glad other people stepped up to be committee chairs, because I sure as heck didn’t want to. I do my part and don’t engage with anything that is unpleasant. Some women aren’t super friendly, but that doesn’t mean they are manipulative, evil witches whose every waking moment is devoted to making my life miserable. I leave them to it.

My goodness, OP. What a diatribe about people easily avoided or simply kept at arm’s length.[/quote]

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