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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get it OP. We got an email about the "class gift" for one of my kids teachers earlier this week and they haven't sent the money yet because last week I did the money for the PTA fund, the money for the fund to give bonuses to specials teachers, I write thank you cards for each of my kids' EC coaches, and I ordered photo books for both sets of grandparents featuring highlights from their visits with our kids this year.

DH also got the class gift email. He also has Venmo.

If I asked him to do it, he would. He'd also be bewildered -- why ask when it's just a minute in my phone to do it? But it's not really about this one task. So instead i'm sitting on it and feeling resentful, and in the back of my head I'm thinking how the class mom is likely annoyed at me and others who haven't contributed yet, and that's fair because she's going above and beyond in organizing, and yet no one is annoyed with my husband. Except me.

The difference in expectations for moms and dads is vast.[/quote]

He’s probably bewildered that you think any of that BS is actually worth doing, let alone delegating.

I’m not writing thank you notes to teachers (I don’t give them gifts either).  I don’t make photo albums for grandparents.  If my DH felt any of that was important he’s free to take the lead on that - otherwise it’s not getting done.[/quote]

This seems like the gender reverse of the sexless marriage threads.

People talking about what they want from their spouses and others saying that no one has literally died from not doing it. 
[/quote]

Relationships with coaches don’t deteriorate because you don’t write thank you notes.

Someone earlier said some people are addicted to resentment - that was so true.[/quote]

Relationships deteriorate because people only do what they think is important and don’t care about what their spouse wants.  [/quote]

Sorry.  I saw that you wrote “relationships with coaches.”  
Maybe you weee responding to the wrong person?  Unless you want your spouse to have sex with your kids coaches :)[/quote]

You missed the point. If you don’t have sex with your spouse, your relationship will deteriorate. If the family doesn’t send thank you notes to a coach, the relationship with the coach doesn’t deteriorate. So why does one person get to decide that this is a family activity which requires full adult participation? Are you saying your marriage will deteriorate because one spouse doesn’t want to participate in time consuming activities that matter because the other spouse can’t prioritize?[/quote]

Yes!!  Bingo!

If you don’t prioritize the activities that your spouse thinks are important, then your marriage will deteriorate!!

And it isn’t that time consuming.  I mean, how long does it take to write a thank you note?  5 minutes?  
Probably if OP’s husband spent 30 minutes doing this stuff 2-3 times a week, she would be happy.  
[/quote]

What if your spouse is unable to prioritize what’s important? Doesn’t matter? Writing a thank you note to coach is unimportant. Says a lot about some of you who would let unimportant tasks damage your marriage. [/quote]

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