Reply to Two spouses: a play

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]It seems the OP is complaining that she is shouldering more of the burden for kid-related activities (a shock, I know).

However, she does not mention [b]what her DH was doing while she was getting the correct dress for her DD, etc. The answer to this question has a material impact here.[/b]

[b]For example,[/b] if he is a vascular surgeon earning 90% of the household income, then she has little right to complain since he is earning the lion's share of their household income (HHI). BTW - My opinion would remain the same if the genders were reversed (i.e., she was the surgeon and he was out buying the red dress).

If both are contributing the same amount to their HHI, he should pick up half the kid-related tasks. If one outearns the other, the lower earner should pick up more of the slack. The math is simple: the higher earner in the family should focus more on their job to ensure they (as a unit) earn the most together.
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[quote]I really don't like this argument, that HHI is the way we measure contribution to the household. What if my nonprofit job which is arguably better for my family to see me doing and the world makes 1/10 as much as some man who works 1/2 the time but makes twice the money? And by the way, women make less money on the dollar for the same jobs, so shoud that mean they have to make up for it with other household tasks?[/quote]

You missed the point because you did not read my post carefully. Reread it and focus on the bolded parts.

The question should be: What is the other spouse doing while the spouse in question is getting the kids ready for the events? My example used HHI as the metric by which this household could determine what is most important to it. I could rewrite the example, replacing "vascular surgeon" with "clergy member," and focus on spreading Christ's message on earth as the relevant metric (i.e., replacing household income). The question remains the same for the OP (i.e., was your DH doing something more important to your family while you were doing what you did).

The point is not the example used. The point is that the information about what the other spouse was doing is essential, and we do not have it. You missed this point because you only read what you wanted to, so you could post about women making less money, etc. [/quote]

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