Reply to Has anyone here on a normal income successfully FIREd?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's equally reckless to delay dating and parenthood. What if you run out of time before you meet the right person?

I'm really not sure why you can't go on, say, one date every two weeks just to get started and practice relationship skills. FIRE women won't be expecting you to spend much.

[/quote]

Dating is expensive (both in terms of money and time)!  The guys I know that are successful at it treat it like a part-time job.

Also, I think it’s going to be very difficult, if I do find the right person, to say, “Hey, I like you a lot.  Let’s put a pin in this for five years—or tread water until then—and then we can move forward with our lives.”  I think it just makes more sense to date when I can really commit to someone.[/quote]

If you find the right person you can cut a lot of costs by moving in together. It can actually accelerate your FIRE.

[b]It's really important that you develop some relationship skills. Your plan to go from zero to marriage at age 38 with no dating experience is unrealistic.[/b] It will be a red flag to your potential dates.

"I'm unemployed and have nothing to do but obsess about our relationship" is creepy and will put people off. It's not a good feeling to be the only activity in someone's life. It's a lot of pressure and it's not going to be a healthy relationship. [/quote]

Jesus, I’m not a socially-inept autist who has “no dating experience” and needs to “develop some relationship skills.”  I had a girlfriend in college.  I didn’t date after college when I moved in with my parents (logistics were untenable), and by the time I bought my condo, I was fully immersed in savings mode and was not interested in dating. However, I have slept with two women in my building (I’m not sure why I have to get into that, but you all have taken a thread in the money forum in a completely different direction than intended.)

You guys are misattributing all sorts of characteristics to me when the truth is just that I have a laser-like focus on getting to $2 million and therefore everything else has taken a backseat.  And yes, I understand there could be some potential savings from moving in with a girlfriend.  But that would involve a huge life shift and I just don’t want to rock the boat in any way or potentially break anything right now.  My job appears stable, and I have a pathway to achieving nirvana within 4-5 years—while, as I stated in the OP, I am starting to get restless, five years still seems a reasonable amount of time to defer gratification for this end.[/quote]

OMG. Dude. "I had a girlfriend 10 years ago" is not an argument in favor of your social skills. "I had the poor judgment to sleep with two different women in my building", same.

There's really no reason you need to have $2 million by a particular age. You've made up that goal and you've made up the need to hyper-focus on it. And dating in the FIRE-sphere isn't really that expensive. It really does seem like you're someone who simply can't manage both a job and a relationship simultaneously, or else you're someone who's really, really uncomfortable with social relationships and is using FIRE as an excuse. Either way, that's going to make marriage and parenting very very hard for you. That is why I think professional help would be beneficial.

Try to understand what most women in their 30s understand: That life gets complicated. Yes, people are expected to save money, have jobs, raise kids, maintain a marriage, and also deal with home maintenance and health problems and caring for aging parents and special needs of their kids and whatever else comes up, all at the same time. Most people get a bit stressed by this, but overall most people find it manageable. It seems like you think this is unreasonable. But really it's normal life, and anyone you date will be concerned about your inability to handle it.

The downside for anyone you marry is considerable:

Stuck in a LCOL forever. 
Low budget forever (I know you think it's a good amount, but it isn't, your estimate of expenses is way too low). No increase in income ever.
Limited to 2 kids and expected to do most of the parenting while you... sit around? That's not what women have in mind when they say they're ok with being the primary parent-- they expect you to be working equally hard at other stuff.  
Low budget means she doesn't spend much time with her family, if they don't live in the area. 
Your negative attitude towards paid work means that if anything more costly comes up (like IVF, kids special needs, major health problems), you'll have a meltdown over it or else she has to get a job. 
You'll be an old dad.

Remember, the FIRE-sphere is weighted towards men, and many of them have more money than you, or have a later target quit date than you. She could marry one of those guys and be a SAHM with a higher quality of life. The downside for her is missing out on what the other guys are offering.[/quote]

Yes,  I said this earlier.  There is no wiggle room and no room for fun.  Concert - took expensive.  Dinner out - nope.  Travel - nope.  Vacation - maybe.  Kids want to play an instrument- can’t afford it.  Want to go on girls weekend,
To a friends wedding. Seems like so tight fisted you can’t enjoy anything even though you could - if you worked and earned something - less stress if something goes wrong or fun opportunities come up.[/quote]

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