Reply to Be honest- what do you think about women who are content to be just wives and mothers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm fine with it except in two scenarios, both of which I have experienced:

1) Calling yourself CEO of Smith Household on social media, Linkedin or in person
[b]2) Telling moms with childcare you stay home because you don't want someone else raising your children.[/b] [/quote]

I currently stay at home but didn't always and could not agree with you more on #2.  It is so offensive.[/quote]

How so? As a parent, you are responsible for choosing who takes care of your kid 24 hours of a day. Why is it offensive to choose to stay home to be the primary caregiver? Why is it offensive to not want to hand your children over to a stranger for the majority of their waking hours?[/quote]

There's nothing offensive about choosing to stay home to be the primary caregiver.  I do that now.  I also respect that some people are not comfortable with daycare, etc.  But when you tell someone else who does use childcare that you don't want someone else raising your children, you are implying that they have allowed someone else to raise theirs.  That's hurtful, especially for parents who may not have any option but to work.  Personally I worked part time, my oldest was in childcare for 24 hours a week.  I object to the suggestion that anyone other than me and her dad were [b]raising[/b] her.  Caring for her, of course.  It takes a village, but no one else was her mom.[/quote]
I think it just depends on your perspective. I work out of the home, and wholly believe that my kids' babysitters and daycare teachers are (at least in part) raising them. Not as their mom or dad, of course, but the kids spend almost as many waking hours at daycare as they do with my husband and I! The teachers play such an outsized role in raising our kids, imparting values, etc. [/quote]

I have also heard the argument from both parents and nannies/other caregivers that it's better to have a "professional" caregiver because they have experiences and often specialized education in early childhood development. This is a very common attitude among dual income families with nannies or who have very high quality daycare/tutors/private school/etc. And I think if you can afford to hire people with really strong credentials and a lot of experience with kids, and can smooth out the employment aspect of having that kind of staff, it might be true.

But it's also insulting to families who can't afford that kind of care, and have to choose between a lower quality daycare (which is unlikely to have all the value-adds of a nanny or high quality daycare) or a SAHP. A lot of families choose a SAHP because it's a clear improvement over whatever care they can afford on their joint salaries. They may still lose money in the long run by having one parent stay home for at least a few years, but their kids really do benefit from the SAHP when the alternative was a low cost daycare.

Which is why judging people for these choices SUCKS. People come into it with different resources, backgrounds, and options. It's gross to judge someone for working or staying home when you don't even know what the alternative was. I think in a lot of instance, families are absolutely choosing the option that gives their kids the best shot and the best care, and it's so offensive to then be told your choice was bad by someone who had some third option that wasn't even available to you.[/quote]

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