Reply to Do any SAHMs regret it because of financial reasons?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, and I say this as someone in a very long-term unusually happy marriage, it does seem like there is a huge element of luck involved. I think it’s foolish to think otherwise. [/quote]

No, it's not "luck". It's a matter of actually getting to know your partner, having meaningful discussions about important things that matter for a future (finances, kids, careers, goals, etc) and being truthful and genuine.  It's not that difficult.  [/quote]

(DP.) Do you really think women who face divorce just had worse judgment than you? Some of them for sure, but think about all the external pressures outside of our control that can do a marriage in: special needs kids, job loss, cancer/bad medical diagnosis, disability.

This just strikes me as deep denial/cognitive dissonance - both on events happening and the belief that your marriage could never fail. It's okay to just say hey, there's a risk, and this is the one I'm choosing to take. 
[/quote]

not everyone.  But many yes, of my cousins and siblings, the 3 who are divorced (there are 14 of us) we could all see it from the day they announced the engagement.   For my sibling specifically it was painfully obvious they were marrying a "loser" who needed to grow up and find their path in life before getting married and starting a family ---think someone who had one class left to pass to graduate college but gave up after 4 attempts where they couldn't pass (for a basic business degree in undergrad) but had no real plans for getting a job and moving forward in life, yet liked to spend money they didn't yet have---so yes if you marry someone like that, you can assume you will be the sole breadwinner and would be in for a lifetime of financial woes, and also a lifetime of that person likely not ever "growing up".  Shockingly (NOT--that is sarcasm for the impaired), that is exactly what occurred.  Except by then they had chosen to bring a kid into this situation.

Once again, most people I know who end up divorced seemed to go into their marriages without real honest discussions about life--they always seemed to be on opposite pages for key issues.  So  yes that could have been avoided if they were genuine, honest and actually had had those important discussions before getting married. You may lust after someone but that is very different than true love and wanting to settle down and spend a lifetime with them. [/quote]

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