Reply to Holding my boundary. Let him be mad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Things of note:
-I would never quit my job. For one, I like making my own money. I would never make myself financial dependent on a man. Also, I have carried the health benefits for our family for the last 6 years. And I don’t trust my husband in terms of job stability 
-Guess what I also often do on my “sat am free time”…other than working out for an hour and maybe reading for 30min or so. Grocery shopping. Trader Joe’s. Amazon returns to the ups store. Target runs for earth day items for dd’s school. Aka things for my f-ing family that aren’t even on dh’s radar or he assumes/expects that I will handle. Because I always have.
- I didn’t throw a tantrum or yell in front of dd. I literally said: “excited to play with you all afternoon after your nap” I told my dh: “you got nap and lunch” it was my dh who said “me? Why would I do it?” And I said why wouldn’t you. What did I do after dd got up from her nap? Took her to the museum, had a wonderful day. What did dh do? Pack for his work trip, leave the house for a few hours, and didn’t see dd for the rest of the day. He left in the morning for a week long trip. And didn’t see dd after giving her lunch and putting her down for nap.  Dd woke up asking where daddy was. I said he went on an airplane for work and will come back. “Why didn’t he kiss me goodnight?”  Now talk to me about parental engagement and involvement.
- as he packed, I told dh I was sorry his feelings were hurt but that I needed to talk to him about what happened. His reply “I vented and I think I’m good now.” He has texted me from his work trip as if nothing happened. Sending pictures of meals at restaurants and telling me about the weather. Literally as if nothing happened.

I haven’t left bc I think custody wouid be a nightmare and the finances of two homes an even bigger one. 
[/quote]

You're not wrong. But it's interesting that you think nothing of telling your kid it's not your turn for lunch and nap and you'll see here when it's your shift. And then you criticize your husband for not kissing her goodnight on your shift. You can't have it both ways. Maybe she was sad you didn't want to see her either?[/quote]

Are you being deliberately stupid? the DH left FOR A WEEK without saying goodbye to his DD. The OP told her DH to honor their agreement for a couple of hours. In NO WAY is this the same thing.

Idiot.[/quote]

A 3 year old doesn't know that, moron. The 3 year old just asked about that night. [/quote]

^ the point is that 3 year olds KNOW when their parents are dissing them but according to everyone defending OP 3 year olds are totally oblivious. They clearly are not which many of us already know and OP realizes too. But thinks it's only important when it's her husband doing it, she can blow the kid off when she wants.[/quote]

It is not dissing or blowing off your kid to not be available every single time they want something. There's a larger pattern here where one parent is present and engaged and one isn't. [/quote]

Of course there is, but both parents are sending the kid mixed messages with this tag team parenting. It's not noble when the mother does it in the eyes of the 3 year old.[/quote]

It’s ONE day of the week. And what else would happen? DH would walk all over her. [/quote]

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