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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Married people do the same with in laws.

Part of being amicable is we don’t fight over holidays or we do them together specifically to not put it on the kids.

We do our together and only expect Xmas eve dinner and breakfast … they do dinners with in laws/whoever they are dating family… sometimes dinner with us too. But we can change it if needed.

It’s flexible, once we just did something the Saturday after Xmas. (Because of travel)

Being amicable spreads to many facets of life.[/quote]

You think you have the perfect divorce. Meantime, there are plenty of posters on DCUM - many on this thread - who are adult children of divorce who are sharing their experiences that even when the adults thinks it's all great, the kids often disagree but don't feel comfortable saying that.  And many say that it's worse as adults.  Your narrative doesn't leave any space for your kid to have different feelings.[/quote]

+100. I'm the poster whose brother's partner was talking about how difficult this is at Thanksgiving. He and my brother "switch off" holidays--this year it was my family for Thanksgiving, brother's partners families for Christmas. Partner was saying he enjoys the holidays with us the most because it is so relaxed, no pressure, do-your-own-thing, decide on something that sounds fun and do it, versus splitting with his dad and his mom and everything being split, bean-counted, expectations, guilt trips, etc. No thanks. And because everything is geographically technically possible, they are literally expected to be in two places basically at once. It sounded awful. He said he genuinely hates the holidays with his own family because of it.

(And no, my family is not perfect!) [/quote]

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