Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So DS 30's has finally gone into therapy to work on himself, but now he is basically blaming me and my marriage problem/fighting, my religion that I forced on him, my homeschooling, my house rules, etc. All these things caused his mental problems and unhappiness according to his therapist. I have apologized[b] if I contributed [/b]but there is not much to be done now. He wrote me a letter about it. It's depressing have all this blame hurled at me, I can't change the past and I wasn't a perfect parent - but we did our best and I thought he had a fairly happy childhood, much better than DH and I. I tried to give him the childhood I wanted as a kid. It's causing me to feel down. No one can hurt you like your kid.[/quote]

If you don't accept responsibility, then you aren't really apologizing. You acknowledge that your marriage was high conflict, but refuse to take responsibility for protecting your child from it.  [/quote]

Op, was your son abused by your spouse? Did your house rules mean he was isolated a lot? Was your religion a more extreme or fundamentalist one? When he came to you with problems, how did you handle it? Was your spouse your son's step father?[/quote]

Those are good questions. I read that a child from a troubled home will likely be OK if he's got just one strong, caring person in his life. If neither the mother nor stepfather were strong/caring/available, and he was isolated and unable to form relationships outside of this home, that could make for a very negative outcome for the young man. [/quote]

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