Reply to Girlfriend Has Changed Her Mind On Every Important Issue

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Girlfriend Has Changed Her Mind On Every Important Issue "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Friend: Why did you guys break up?

OP: X decided she wanted to live in big house and stay home with our kids.

Friend: The nerve of the girl.[/quote]

You are leaving a lot out but you know that.  Not even close.  [/quote]

DP.  So is OP.  He has been dodging a lot of questions in this discussion.  [/quote]

What questions has OP been dodging? He has answered many questions that have been asked on this thread. [/quote]

Questions OP did not answer:

1. “Are you planning to pay for private schools? Your budget won’t get you much in those areas with decent schools.”

2. “On the SAHP thing, are you willing to ease up on your own career (maybe switch to a job with lower pay but better quality of life) is you can be a full 50% partner on the home and childcare front?”

3. “OP, what do you think are reasonable compromises on these issues? Where are you willing to deviate from your ideal plan?”

4. “OP, do you like the idea of traditional gender roles in a marriage? Where you get to be the husband who “takes care of“ his family and you get to make most of the big decisions pretty much unilaterally? Or do you prefer to have a marriage with a partner who is also wage earning and wants to build a life with you and also has an equal say in everything?”

5. “Op is a well off guy. Does he want his wife to work and have a nanny? Or send your baby to daycare?”

6. “OP, did you really have no clue that she wanted a different lifestyle than you are willing to contribute to? Does she wear cheap, frumpy clothes, no jewelry, hair only gets cut every six months, carrying an extra 10 pounds because she doesn’t want to pay for a gym or even new running shoes, living in a cheap crummy apartment and never spending money to socialize with friends?”

I am sure you will find grounds to dismiss them, but these question get at important points about OP’s expectations for marriage and family life, and whether his dating choices are likely to lead to the kid of marriage he thinks he wants.  The question of how he and his hypothetical wife would balance careers and children is a major issue for a marriage.  Is he willing to ease up on his own career so he can participate equally in home life while his wife to continues to also pursue her own career at a level comparable to OP’s?  If his preference is for his wife to scale back her career or stop working entirely so he doesn’t have to make any career sacrifices, can he also accept that he will have to share “his” money equally with his wife, and can’t use “I make the money” as an excuse to control her financially?  Bigger picture, is he willing to compromise and find an acceptable middle ground when he and his wife have disagreements, or will it be “my way or the highway”?

And before he even gets to that point, is he dating women who seem to have values and preferences aligned with his, particularly his strict frugality, or is he looking for women who fit certain standards of “hot” and “socially desirable” to boost his own self-image while conveniently ignoring that those things come with a financial cost he’s not willing to bear?[/quote]

Dude. Calm down. Maybe he doesn't want to get that in-depth with strangers. You seem like you have issues. [/quote]

DP.  Someone asked, pp answered.  Why are you so threatened by that?[/quote]

Not threatened at all- just the amount of interest and reading in to the situation seems super disproportionate.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics