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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She wasn't always ON our team.  That's the difference.  So the camaraderie among WOHMs was already built.  When you've been in the workforce all that time - w/o stepping out - you see things differently.

I've seen so many SAHMs throw themselves into school activities - running the auction,  becoming volunteer coordinator, assisting with lunch duty.  I've always said that if they could take that energy and put it into a job, they'd become CEOs in no time.  So many substitute volunteering for work.  why?  It's a way to shine w/o the pressure of really performing.  It's also an excuse to NOT work b/c you're so instrumental in ensuring your child's school is run well.

[quote=Anonymous]When you are offended (or making the choice to feel insulted) by a SAHM who says quite honestly "I stayed at home to raise my kids" then YOU are creating the controversy where there is none!

I totally agree with the WOHMs who advise SAHMs not to talk on and on about their kids in an interview.  Fair point.  But, to assume a judgment or insult from someone who is talking about HER own choices... well, that's just making it all about you when it's not about you.

I have been asked several times in different interviews "how old are your kids."  They know I have kids b/c of the gap and my explanation of what I was doing.  The interviewers are the ones trying to bring in more info. about the kids.... and then they are subtly calculating if the kids still young and going to cause a problem for the employer.

If a person says she decided to stay home and take care of her kids it is NOT the same thing as judging all WOHMs for not taking care of their kids.  It's not about the the WOHM!

[b]Lastly, you would think that a person who WOH, would be thrilled to see the arch-enemy (SAHM) trying to follow in the WOHM's footsteps!  Here is a person from the "opposing" team trying to join your team,[/b] and all you can do is insult the person who wants to join your team????  You insult the SAHMs for staying at home, but when they try to be WOHMs you want to kick them back into their corner (which you sarcastically deride).

Seriously.  Think about your logic if you are one of the WOHMs who is slamming on the SAHMs trying to get jobs.  And try to let go of the perceived attacks, b/c I've never heard SAHMs insulting WOHMs in real life.  Ever.[/quote][/quote]

Let's see to the PP quoted on the top (the WOHM):  you say that if the SAHMs would put their energy into a job rather than to volunteer activities, that "they'd become CEOs in no time."  You're right, but someone would need to HIRE her first.  Maybe that's where all the WOHM animosity comes from.   You don't want to hire someone who could rise to that level (especially after that woman has stayed at home).  After all, wouldn't that mean the she could 1) raise her children and 2) succeed at work?  How horrible for you if that type of track was actually available to women.  That would mean that working/staying at home didn't need to be an all or nothing proposition.  Could it be that, you MUST deny the SAHM the opportunity to return to work and succeed there?  Because if she returns and succeeds then, by definition she would have achieved it ALL/the holy grail: staying at home when the kids needed her and achieving at work despite that choice.  How, then, would you feel about having missed the opportunity (one that can never be recreated, btw) to be with your children when they are little?   Wouldn't you feel like you had gotten a raw deal by staying at work (most likely to make sure you didn't lose your career, etc.) if some SAHM comes along and is accepted back into the workplace and succeeds when she is there. By holding the SAHM down, you WOHM/interviewer perpetuate the all or nothing paradigm.[/quote]

The only reason  the SAHM is even considered for the job is because working moms exist. Because women become moms and continue to work. So achieving the holy grail for a SAHM is dependent on WOHMs and that is a fact. You (not you, as in you, but in people in general) can't have it both ways. You can't say the ultimate goal should be to stay home and raise kids and then get back into the workforce because if a significant number of women did that, there would be no returning to the workforce for SAHMs in any role other than what my moms' friends returned to in the 1980s after raising kids - teaching, nursing, etc.  [/quote]

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