Reply to "Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him

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Reply to ""Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know the post is old, but I have a friend who married somebody she didn’t have physical chemistry with. He was basically the perfect guy and she figured it would come or at least they could maintain their good relationship without it. But it was such a struggle for her their entire marriage on a daily basis. She tried so hard to want to be with him but sex was never a good experience. She said she wished she hadn’t had chemistry with somebody before because she knew what she was missing out on.

After I think 5 years of marriage her ex asked for a divorce. He knew she struggled with the chemistry issue and she says that he probably just didn’t want to deal with the blow to his ego that really digging into the issue would cause. She was devastated because she really wanted things to work out and they had two kids, but her ex wouldn’t budge.

About two years later she met a guy with whom she had major chemistry. They got married and she is so much happier now. Says the divorce is the best thing that ever happened to her. They have only been married for ten years but from little comments here and there i gather their sex life is fantastic. And I know that their relationship is really good and they just have this emotionally healthy dynamic. And she and her ex get along great now and co parent really well.

It’s hard for me to relate because I have only been with people i am super attracted to (even if the attraction wasn’t there at first, it had grown a lot by the time we started dating) and it seems wild to divorce when you have kids just because you lack chemistry. But it does seem like marriage is just so hard when there is no chemistry and it divorce might be better for everybody involved. [/quote]

Do you really think she'd tell you if the sex and marriage sucked?[/quote]

Over the past fifteen years we have had in-depth heart to hearts about our marriages so yes, basically. I don’t think she would tell me *if* the sex sucked but I don’t think the comments she makes in passing about it being good (like about how her husband is amazing at sending dirty texts even though you would never know it from his sweet, unassuming demeanor) and the way she is so grateful that she has chemistry with her current husband are lies. [/quote]

Funny because to me it sounds exactly like lies and attention seeking.[/quote]

She has been my best friend for 20 years and I know what attention-seeking behavior is like and I know this isn’t it, but I wonder what makes it sound that way. I mean when you’re having a convo about sexting and someone chimes in with their experience, and when you’re having a convo about the difficulties of a lack of chemistry in marriages and she adds her experience with it, I don’t know why that sounds like lies and attention seeking. [/quote]
Of course you don't because you are the friend and this is normal behavior for you immaturity and attention-seeking behavior go hand in hand.[/quote]

Huh?

I don’t know why it’s so hard for you you believe that I can know that my friend has a good sex life. [/quote]

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