Reply to "Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him

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Reply to ""Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know the post is old, but I have a friend who married somebody she didn’t have physical chemistry with. He was basically the perfect guy and she figured it would come or at least they could maintain their good relationship without it. But it was such a struggle for her their entire marriage on a daily basis. She tried so hard to want to be with him but sex was never a good experience. She said she wished she hadn’t had chemistry with somebody before because she knew what she was missing out on.

After I think 5 years of marriage her ex asked for a divorce. He knew she struggled with the chemistry issue and she says that he probably just didn’t want to deal with the blow to his ego that really digging into the issue would cause. She was devastated because she really wanted things to work out and they had two kids, but her ex wouldn’t budge.

About two years later she met a guy with whom she had major chemistry. They got married and she is so much happier now. Says the divorce is the best thing that ever happened to her. They have only been married for ten years but from little comments here and there i gather their sex life is fantastic. And I know that their relationship is really good and they just have this emotionally healthy dynamic. And she and her ex get along great now and co parent really well.

It’s hard for me to relate because I have only been with people i am super attracted to (even if the attraction wasn’t there at first, it had grown a lot by the time we started dating) and it seems wild to divorce when you have kids just because you lack chemistry. But it does seem like marriage is just so hard when there is no chemistry and it divorce might be better for everybody involved. [/quote]

It's not for the kids, but I guess as long as your friend best the bio clock had kids and now gets her rocks off it's all good.[/quote]

I don’t think that staying together is always best for the kids. If you have an amazing marriage except for the sex part, then staying together is probably best for the kids. So if my husbands ex hadn’t resented my friend for wanting to go to couples therapy so that their sex life was better, then maybe it would have been best. And then she resented him for that in return. When parents resent each other, it’s not good for kids. When parents split up and then become friends and great co parents (which is very rare but happens), that’s a better scenario than living with parents who live with lots of resentment toward each other. [/quote]

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