Reply to Trying to handle baby + big law and failing miserably. Talk me down.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was in biglaw for 10 years but left before I had kids.  I saw no one who was successful long term that had kids that didn’t have a spouse that either was a sah or cut way back on their own career.  Since you don’t seem to want to stay long term and make partner, that  doesn’t need to mean that you can’t stay a few years more if you are willing to continuing working long hours.

You absolutely need a nanny, and you need to subscribe to a back up nanny service for the rare times when your nanny is sick if you don’t have families or friends in the area, or the ability to cover yourself.    Not only will the  nanny rid you having to do drop offs and pick ups, they can do light housekeeping that will help free up the time when you are home from the more mundane tasks like laundry or groceries. Ideally, hire someone who can cook.  I could not have continued to work as an attorney, even outside of big law , with a spouse with a demanding job, without a nanny.

I don’t think it is true that babyhood is the hardest part, it gets harder when your kids have homework and activities in the evening although you I’ll be sleeping better.  It is true that your kid will not remember these early years, but you will.  Plan your next career moves to give you the family life you want, because kids grow up really fast, and there is no turning back the clock.[/quote]

DP.  I promise I'm not picking on PP, even though what I am about say will sound like I am.

I agree with this PP and the many others who have advised outsourcing as a way to make it through BigLaw or another BigCareer.  A prerequisite for that, though, is that you are ok [b]not[/b] doing the things that you are outsourcing.  I can throw money at problems with the best of them.  I wasn't willing, however, to have someone else (including my husband) do so many of the things that [b]I[/b] see as part of being a parent.   I want to see my kids at the end of the school day, be active at their school, make and eat dinner with them, get them to practices and activities, know their friends and teammates and their families.  That means not being in the office (or working feverishly out of the office) all the time.  Some working moms may hate all of those tasks and/or be willing to have nannies or au pairs or grandparents or other parents take on those roles.  But if you, like me, are not happy with that approach, even outsourcing won't help.

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