Reply to S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't care if you're  SAHM or WOH mom.  I do care when I get SAHM tell me 'I would NEVER let anyone care for my child'.  That is nice for you since you have a supportive spouse who makes significant amount of money to allow you to have the luxury to stay home.  Comments like these upsets me. Don't you think all moms would like to have the luxury to have options but not all are fortunate.  Idon't identify myself through my career.  I could care less.  I only work for my paycheck to support my family and provide a certain quality of life for them.  My goal is to earn and save significantly so I can retire early.  [/quote]

I sah and we are far from rich. I knew My dh and I both wanted me to care for our children and not have them in someone else's care. We waited, planned, saved and lived off of one income for years before having kids. We'll never be rich, but we have the family life we want.[/quote]

Enjoy dependence![/quote]

You missed the part where we planned and saved for years. Also, we depend on each other.[/quote]

But why?  Why wouldn’t you want to have a flexible job where you can spend time with your kids AND remain an independent person?  My mom stayed home and sacrificed so much.   Now that she sees me work a flexible job I think it has hit her how foolish she was.

The main person sacrificing in this arrangement is you.  You won’t be contributing to your own retirement account.  You will face challenges retentering the workforce.  You have lost your identity outside of your kids and husband.  Of course your husband will go along with this arrangement.  [/quote]

NP. If you’re talking about a flexible part-time job, how many hours do you have to work to be not dependent on your husband? If you’re talking about a flexible full time job where you work 40+ hrs/wk and also spend several hours per day with your children, then wow good for you but that sounds exhausting.[/quote]

I’m not that Pp, but I have a question for her:
Why do you assume a SAHM has no identify apart from her kids and DH? I worked before staying home with my now 2 year old, but I did not feel fulfilled or like my identity was validated by my job. My DH and my mother are people who feel very much validated by their jobs and a large part of their identities come from their jobs. People like me, my dad, and MIL just work for other reasons. I feel much more personally fulfilled staying at home with my kid and pursuing my own interests that feed my intellect and soul and fill my home with joy. Piano, classical music, language learning, reading fiction, cooking and trying new recipes, reading about child development, going to the library... I actually do plan to go back to work, but I do not expect to be fulfilled or have my identity taken over by whatever role that will be. I was exhausted and depressed working, and didn’t have the time or energy to pursue other interests. I don’t really understand why outside work must be more valued or seen as more a part of you than home life and family. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics