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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]SAHM here.

I hate these threads. They're usually started by a WOHM asking some version of "why don't you want to work a flexible job and not be dependent on a man?"

So you explain how your former industry was not flexible, why you and your husband prize a peaceful, calm existence where one person works and the other takes care of home and kid stuff, and what you have done to mitigate the risk of being financially dependent (large cash savings, continue to invest for your own retirement, large life insurance and disability policies, post nuptial agreements, etc. etc.) and they come back with "well it's not about YOU or your reasons, it's about women in general."

Don't you get that ALL women are making choices based on their unique circumstances and are making good choices mitigating risk in their lives?

Like sorry your dad left your mom high and dry but that's not going to happen to me for various reasons and no amount of bitter wishing on your part is going to make it so. It's just not. If my husband left me tomorrow, which is extremely unlikely for various reasons, I'd walk away with about 3 million dollars. A nice cushion to start over with.[/quote]

This is more trash and toxicity added to an already toxic subject. You want to stir the pot and you're enjoying the drama. So much for prizing a peaceful, calm existence. [/quote]

Exactly.  Also: step outside your privilege bubble.  ALL women don't have the same choices as you.[/quote]

There was a time in my life when I had to literally choose whether or not to eat or put gas in my car. I chose gas because I had to get to work or I would have no money to pay rent.  I was poor. There were times when I went hungry.  When I met my dh he was making less than me!  He later went on to excel at work.

Decades later, I'm a SAHM. I didn't win the lottery, I didn't find a buried treasure.  Dh and I worked our butts off, lived below our means as DINKs and didn't have kids until we were well established.

We have had our own string of bad luck just like everyone else.  We have also been lucky at times.  But when I look analytically at why we got ahead while others continued to struggle so much it comes down to the small, every day choices that we made in life.  Really.

That is not to say that I don't count my blessings every day because I do.  I also give to the less fortunate because I have BTDT and I know what it's like.  I try to be a good person and I am raising my kids to be good, empathetic people.

What's the point of working your butt off if you can't enjoy the comfort and security that it brings?  Why assume that others have it soooo much easier than you or anyone else? Often times we are no different than you are.

[/quote]
DECADES later?  Did you have your first child when you were 45 or something?
[/quote]

No.  I worked for over a decade and then had kids.  My kids are now teenagers.  I'm in my early 50's.[/quote]

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